Pearls of Blondness

Occasionally I will have insightful thinks to say. Those close to me call them "Pearls of Blondness" because they can not be defined as wisdom, as they come from me...the Queen Blonde.

1. Life
Everything in life is temporary. Love and heartache, happiness and sadness, joy and fear. What is one to do? You must live life knowing everything will pass- the good and the bad. So all you can do is handle the bad with grace and learn what can from it; understanding that it is temporary and will pass. And no matter how bad things may seem, you must keep in mind that they can always be worse. At the same time, you must enjoy the good in your life! It is so important to appreciate all the wonderful things you have because they are only temporary, as well. It is so vital to cherish all stages of life because once they are over, you will regret not taking advantage of them. I think one of the things I regret most in life is not loving the time I spent in Toronto more. I was too focused on school or the ex to spend time with the city and my friends. It is only now that I truly appreciate and love that period in my life. It was the most stress I have ever experiences, but I learned from it and it has made me stronger. After surviving U of T, I know I can plow through anything that comes my way! But I wish I had savored the moment. I wish I had more of a social life and less of an academic life. (More on this and the social life later.)

2. People
You must identify the important people in your life and those who matter most. For too long I have not focused on the right people. I have learned that my family will always be there for me, regardless of what happens. This unconditional love and support is so rare in this day and age. It is only now that I am far away from my family that I comprehend how meaningful the relationship I have with them is. At the same time, my friends from when I lived in Fairfax, the U of T Girlies, and select Pepperdine Peeps have had a similar impact. Boys may come and go, but your friends are always there. I have been too caught up in school or work to really love the relationships I have with my friends.

3. Love
There might not be one person out there for everyone. You might not have a soulmate. But there might be someone out there, who at a particular stage in your life, is right for you. This person might not always be right for you- she/he might just be Ms./Mr. Right at one phase. People grow and change. A soulmate is that one person who grows and changes as you grow and change. This is rare. Almost no one is able to find this person, which is why it is okay and normal for relationships to end. They do not always evolve as those in the relationship do. You need to grow and change and discover who you are, but understand your partner must do the same. Not everyone finds someone and a relationship who is able to move in the same direction.

4. People Pleasing
Everyone wants to be loved and accepted by everyone. This is not possible. As the old saying goes, in trying to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one. So you have to do what is right for you, and make the decisions that are best for you. You have to please yourself and do what is best for you before you worry about anyone else. Stay true to yourself and who you are!

5. Confidence
Have confidence in yourself! Because if you do not, why should anyone else?




After looking over what I have read, I need to follow my own advice. Do as I say, not as I do. It is so easy to give out advice to others. It is hard to live by and embody that advice. (You can tell I am doing a lot of yoga...these are heavily yoga-infused impressions of the world! The more stressed I am, the more yoga I do. Not only do I fell zen on the inside as a result, you should see how good my arms and abs look!)

Stressing the Fuck Out!

I am stressed...for a change. Sometimes I feel like I am not happy unless I feel stress and pressure in my life. I hate it, but I have be come so used to it that I can't function without it. It's like a drug- I need it to get anything done. It motivates me, it makes me get things done, but I hate it.

What am I stressed about? Everything.

1. My Parents
I love my parents more than anything. But they pressure me to come home all the time! Which is a good thing because it shows they love me and want to be around me. It makes me feel guilty. They have done so much for me and I never see them anymore. I feel like the least I can do to show my love and gratitude is visit them, but it is hard when they are in New York and I am in California. I do not get much time off work, so they come see me. I can't afford the ticket home, so they buy me one when I do have time to make the trip. I just want to make them proud and show them I love them.

2. My Job
I get treated like shit by the men I work with. I work twice as hard as my male counter parts for half of the credit. I work longer hours. I don't take a lunch, but the boys take a breakfast and a lunch. The men treat me like a dumb blonde while I am better educated. It makes me wonder if this is the right career path. Do I want to work for a company that only rewards WASPy men? But it pays the bills...

3. The Bills
And when I say bills, what I really mean are the massive amounts of student loans I have to pay. It makes me wonder, is it worth it? Is a BA from one of the world's top universities and an MBA from another one worth the money invested? They say education is also costly NOT to have, but at the same time ignorance is bliss. You might have a shitty, dead-end job without the degrees, but you would not know the joys of paying student loans until you die.

4. My Body
This is an on-going struggle and probably always will be. Ever since having eating disorders, my mom tells me in such a loving and caring way that only a mother can, that I am "fucked in the head." It's true. I have never been happy with my body. I spend hours at the gym running and doing sit-ups, but it is never enough. I watch everything I eat, but it is still too much. I make myself crazy! I should feel lucky that I can afford food, and I am healthy enough to go to the gym.

5. Life
Life in general is stressful.


So what do I do? How do I handle this?

1. Yoga.
Lots and lots of yoga. The more stressed I get, the more I practice. Needless to say, my practice is coming along very nicely these days! Although last night the instructor told me my legs are too long to really master the art of yoga. That sucked!

2. Shopping!
But only after the loan payments are made. For my birthday, I totally hit up my favorite BCBG store in Santa Monica. I LOVE the salesman there. He is so flamboyantly gay and nice and funny. I love him. Gay men are the perfect shopping companion- you get the male and female perspective in a brutally honest way all at once! I have bought a couple dresses from him in the past, so I knew he would help me find something good. He found my a hot navy pinstripe suit with ivory slingbacks. He said every woman needs a good pair of slingbacks, and this pair won't pinch! He said he owns the same pair in a size 11 and would never try to sell me something he couldn't personally endorse. I was not sure how to react to that one!

3. Nights out with the girlies!
The girls always know that a night of tequilla shots and dancing will cheer me up.

4. A good book.
I am a super nerd at heart. I love to read and nothing helps me temporarily escape my life than getting lost in a book.

Seriously, I Watch Too Much Grey's Anatomy. Seriously. And Other Things That Annoy Me

I watch waaay too much Grey's Anatomy. I watch it on television. I watch it on DVD. I watch it on abc.com. And now I have started talking like Meredith. I say seriously all the time! This is not good. I love the movie "Old School" because it is fucking hilarious...but Ellen Pompeo is in it. I hate the movie "The Wedding Planner," but watched it on TV tonight because Justin Chambers is in it. I like "Sideways" because I am practically an alcoholic (not really, but I love wine) and Sandra Oh is in it. "Knocked Up"- Katherine Heigl. "Can't Buy Me Love"- Patrick Dempsey. Do you need me to continue, or are we seeing a pattern here? I act like the characters are close, personal friends. This is not healthy. At least I don't plan my social schedule and life around the show. Thank god they have the episodes online! Yes, I am a loser.

"The Wizard of Oz." A great movie. I loved it as a kid because of the great story. I loved it as I got older because it offers a great social/political/economic/etc commentary on the United States at the time the movie was made. Now, I just think those Munchkins are fucking creepy. They are practically Oompa Loompas! Except not to menacing. (Are Oomps Loompas evil? I never could figure that one out.) Half of them are children and the other half are adults. These pseudo-people just weird me out! When I was sick, I was able to watch a little bit of the movie when it was on television. I never realized how strange those things were until that point. I had to change the channel whenever they were in a scene.

Chain Jewelry Store Commercials. Zales, Keys, etc, all these crappy wannabe jewelers. I hate their holiday commercials. They show dopey men giving their wives shitty diamonds. And the stupid bitches are actually excited! If some dumbass gave me jewelery, let alone DIAMONDS, from one of these stores, I would be fucking pissed. Why would he waste his money on bad jewelry? Bad move. If he can't afford the good stuff, then don't even bother. It is an insult! I know what good jewelery is and I know what crappy shit is. Do not act like I can't tell the difference. Just get me clothes or lingerie or something.

"Pretty Woman." I love this movie. But honestly, a millionaire would not ask out a hooker.

Okay, enough venting. I feel better!

I Am Old

On 16 November 2007 I turned 25. I am old.

Popcorn

For some odd reason, popcorn is one of my favorite foods. I think it is because it has sentimental value to me.

When my sisters and I were little, my mom refused to get a microwave. It wasn't like we couldn't afford one. My mom had a moral objection. She is a great mother, and was afraid they would cause cancer or something. So for the longest time my mom made popcorn the old-fashion way- on the stove! No matter how hard I try, it never tastes as good when I try to make it on the stove. But then again, nothing ever tastes as good as your mom made it. In an effort to save money, my mom used to "smuggle" this popcorn into the movie theater in brown paper bags! At the time, I was embarrassed and thought the movie theater popcorn looked and smelled SO much better than the homemade kind. Looking back, I really miss those days!

My mom's mother, on the other hand, was ahead of her time and had one of those new-fangled microwave thing-a-majigs! It was such a treat for my sisters and I when we visited my grandparents and had microwave popcorn. My little old Italian grandmother would sit with us and turn the kernels of popped corn into animals and other shapes. Those are the fondest memories I have of my grandparents- sitting around their kitchen table and entertaining ourselves with a bag of microwave popcorn.

My mom's sister, my Aunt Paula, used to make popcorn balls around the holidays in December. Every Christmas Day, we would munch on them while opening gifts. She sends them to me every year on my birthday,

The Flu That Almost Killed Me

Yes, I realize the title of this entry is a bit dramatic, but I was going for that...and I thought it sounded James Bond-esque (like "The Spy Who Loved Me" or "A View to a Kill"). My life's ambition is still to be a Bond Girl, but not the kind who dies and I want to be one of the bad ones...but this is not the point. Wednesday night I can home from a night a tequilla shots and tortilla chips with one of my girl friends. I was cold (which if you know me at all is quite common) and then hot and then cold again. Then I realized, I had a fever. Bad news. Then the stomach issues started. And the sore throat. Before I knew it, it was time to go to the gym and I had not slept all night. I called in sick to work and slept all day...for four days straight. I did manage to make two emergency runs to the market for reinforcements, each followed by an email check.

It is killing me not to have my normal life. I feel like a cat- sleeping all day, gross, and lazy. I hate this feeling of being unproductive. I missed the gym four days in a row- an unprecedented record I hope never to beat. I think the last time I was in such bad shape was when I had my wisdom teeth out in high school. But at least then I had my mommy to take care of me and I actually was feeling good enough to enjoy a few days off. This time, the only thing I have felt good enough to do up to this point was sleep.

And now, this leads me to wonder how I became the lucky recipient of this flu virus. I have a few theories:
1. The weeks of travel and working long hours with little sleep and lots of stress have caught up with me.
2. There is a woman at work who caught the flu from her two year old daughter, who caught it at daycare. When I called in sick, I found out half the office was also out sick. This is just one more reason why I HATE kids.
3. I am seriously allergic to tequilla and tortilla chips.

I feel Number 2 is the most viable option, although the factors mentioned in Number 1 are a contributing force. Never blame the tequilla.

I think I am too old to be getting sick like this! Or at least I feel like I am. Maybe it is just because I have not been sick in a long time, and when I have it has not lasted long. I spoke with my parents my theories, and they support the 1-2 combo. They told me that they never got sick until my sisters and I went off to pre-school. They whenever we got sick, they got sick. Thankfully, my dad never went to work sick and my mom never saw her friends sick, so they were not guilty of this villainous spread of child-induced illness. Seriously, if your fucking dumbass kid can't keep his/her/its dirty fingers out of his/her/its mouth, that is your problem, not mine! And just because your stupid kid gets you sick, does not give you the right to still go about your daily life and infect the rest of the population. Grrrrr.

Did I mention I get kinda bitchy when I am not feeling well? This bitchiness is exacerbated by lack of going to the gym and social interaction.

Let us hope, for all of mankind, that I get better soon, so the bitchiness will subside to a tolerable level.

The Misadventures of Blondie

I have been traveling for nearly a month straight. First home to the F-port, then Sin City, and then Motown. I have already blogged (I can't believe I used the word "blogged") about my time home. Las Vegas, as always, was a shit show. It was the annual Chrysler Announcement Show, where corporate meets with all the dealers to inform them of what is in store for the upcoming year. Of course, the field organization gets to go! Yay!

I got off the plane from New York sick...puking, using the air sickness bag like a little kid....it was bad. And had to turn around and get on a plane the next day. I was not happy. But, because I have an asshole for a boss, I went into the office before hand. And instead of partying it up when I got to Vegas, I was a good girl and worked in my room.

Let me just say, this company does not do anything half-assed. They put us up in the Venetian! I had a whole suite to myself! Sunken living room, two queen-sized beds, two flat screen TVs, whirlpool bathtub...the works! And on top of that, we were wined and dined to no extent. After working my ass off the first night, we had training the second day. There was a big Q&A with the new upper management team and a team-building/community outreach event. We were told that we would be put in teams and would be competing against each other to build something. That something was a children's bike! After we finished, they brought in a bunch of little kids...ewwwww. For those of you who don't know me well, I hate kids. I never want my own (although my mom and dad think if I "met that special someone" I might change my mind...who knows. I'll let you know when I've met him). And my group's kid was sick with a cold and did not speak English! I was really nice to him (and not just nice for me, but nice for a normal person). It did feel good to give a child a bike and make a positive impression on him that he will never forget...and maybe he'll buy one of our products some day!

That night was a corporate reception. Lots of alcohol, lots of food, and LOTS of dirty old men. (Dirty old men + alcohol = many inappropriate comments and invitations.) Then we went to dinner at Social House at Treasure Island (too many Long Island Iced Teas). The next day was the actually show itself, followed by a Q&A. That night after a reception with INCREDIBLE wine and food, Lifehouse and Jay Leno performed, but not together. They each did their own thing. Then there was ANOTHER reception, this time with crappy wine. Afterwards, we all hit the hotel bar. (Too many Coronas.)

So, I was not about to pay $35 a day to use the hotel gym, and expensing that sort of thing might get me fired. I decided I would run on the strip instead. So I am running along and trip on the curb and fall forward! I skinned my knee, severed by iPod headphones, and caught myself with the palms of my hands. My elbow for some reason was really hurting me even though I didn't land on it. A few days later, it turned black and blue and yellow on either side!!! Not good.

I think I was propositioned, hit on, invited to more hotel rooms, etc., in those few days than in my entire life! And they were all dirty old married men...ewwww. (No guys my own age like me.)

When in Vegas, I got to meet Tiny Tim's new wife. Yikes! That's all I have to say.

The next week was a fun-filled training session in Detroit. I am still not a huge fan of a lot of the new hires, but others I absolutely love (like my twin). Uncle Bill kept hounding me, so ever spare second I had was spent working. I never was able to go to my favorite place in Detroit- the Somerset Collection, which is a wonderful cathedral of consumption that rivals any SoCal mall. But we did get to spend some time on Chrysler's test track! So much fun to drive the hell out of some cars!

My flight was canceled due to bad weather (there were tornadoes) and I had to rebook at the last minute. As it turns out, if you book a flight at the last minute, you are red-flagged. So me and the Arab dude in line behind got the "special treatment" from the TSA. I got to go through the high risk security line, had all my belongings search, and got up close and personal with security. When I got back home, I discovered a little "love note" from the TSA informing me my bad had been searched. My once perfectly folded clothes were a mess and my toothpaste had exploded over my uber-expensive suits. I was pissed!

And of course, I got off the plane in Cali sick...again. Instead of taking it easy all weekend, I decide it is a good idea to go drinking in Laguna Beach with a girlfriend. And, of course, I did not fail to attract all the crazies! Some random massage therapist would not leave me an followed us from bar to bar. The married band members hit on us between sets. Some strange short man wanted to dance with us all night. But at least we got a lot of free drinks!!! I had a great time, but this did nothing to help recover from being sick.

Then the fires came. Malibu and my poor Pepperdine campus are burning. It breaks my heart to see someplace so special to me go up in flames. The fire in Irvine forced us out of the building early, and we were not allowed back into today. When I was in Detroit there were tornadoes, in Cali there are fires, in Denver it is snowing (that's where I am headed to next). The great weather just loves me!

You Can Take Me Out of New York, but You Can't Take the New York Out of Me!

My trip home to Fairport was wonderful. I was able to spend time with my parents and get away from the insanity of my life in California for a bit. There was not much time to relax between appointments and working (yes, I worked on my vacation...what a good girl I am!) and parental bonding time. I realized that I missed those little things in life, like grocery shopping with my mom and then cooking dinner, and washing the "fleet" of vehicles with my dad. It was such a wonderful feeling to wake up on a Sunday morning to the smell of coffee brewing and the newspaper waiting for me.

For the first time in the history of the world, the weather in upstate New York was PERFECT during the month of October. It was sunny and 85 everyday, without a cloud in the sky. The leafs on the trees just started to turn colors. I did not think I would ever miss fall, but it was a nice change after two years of living in yearlong summer in SoCal. I was able to enjoy the beautiful change of seasons with the great weather. My mom and I sat outside to sip our Starbucks. I hopped on the back of my dad's Harley and went on a long ride to Lake Ontario with him, after a morning bicycle ride down the Erie Canal. The three of us even went to the pumpkin patch in a quest for the perfect jack-o-lantern!

Every night after the gym, my parents and I would get drunk off of expensive bottles of wine, and talk and laugh together for hours. By the end of the trip home, I was ready to get back to California and detox my poor liver...but the business trip to Sin City the day after my return made that a bit impossible. And what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

Why?

There are so many things I do not understand in life. And I am dedicating this entry to those things. Any comments you have would be greatly appreciated!

1. Why do we care so much about celebrities?

Glenn Beck (yes, I listen to/watch him because I am an old lady) thinks the reason is because we are bored with our own lives. Personally, I think it is because we want to see that those that we put up on a pedestal are normal people and just like you and me. We want to see that seemingly famous people with perfect lives have everyday problems. It humanized then to some degree. Britney Spears has trouble holding on to her kids. Lindsay Lohan has addiction and eating issues. And every single couple in the spotlight is having problems. I think it is because we want to think these seemingly perfect people are just like you and me. At the surface, it appears as if they have perfect lives. But in reality, they have issues. And those issues are usually worse than the "normal person" issues. We concentrate on the bad because we are jealous of those we idolize. It makes us feel better to see they have bigger problems to deal with than we do. Yes, I will say it makes me feel great to say that I have a better body than Britney Spears. It makes me feel feel great to say that I have a better career than Lindsay Lohan. But at the same time, I pitty these girls. They are my age and have so much potential, yet they have ruined their lives. But I am still fascinated by them and addicted to wwtdd.com.

2. Why is there a Hollywood Double Standard?

It is okay for a celebrity to fall from grace and pick him/herself up. But in real life, it does not happen like that. You fuck up in you job, and it is over. But in Hollywood, it is almost as if you need to fall from grace in order to earn some form of legitimacy. Keith Urban can go to rehab and be hailed. Nicole Riche can drive the wrong down a freeway and still be seen as a potential role model mother. Models can have severe eating disorders and still be seen as the ideal body. If any normal person fucked up like this, he/she would be screwed! I do not understand this. We say there is a set level of acceptance for normal behavior, but we exempt from people from this because they are famous. When I was at the height of my eating disorder problem, I was not viewed in the same way as those in Hollywood. People thought I wanted attention. I was seen as vein and self-centered. When in actuality, I was just trying to exert control over some aspect of my life.

3. Why don't people listen to me?

Do I seem stupid? Blonde haired, blue eyed white females can be intelligent.

The Yom Kippur War

About a month ago, I moved from a training position to my real position in the field...unofficially. As a result, I got a new boss. We shall call him Uncle Albert. Uncle Al has been demoted both in title and wage grade twice within the last three years. He does not understand the sales and market aspect of the automotive industry, which earns the company 95% of its profits. I requested Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur off, as well as the October 1-5 so I could go home. He said yes and I had confirmed this several times...over a month ago. He said it would be fine if I take Friday, September 21 and October 1-5 off. I only have five vacation days as a new hire, which I applied to my trip home, and bought plane tickets for Friday, September 28, and Sunday, October 7. Everything was going fine...until today at 5:00pm. Uncle Albert said he wanted to chat with me. He asked me to explain what Yom Kippur was. I told him it was the holiest day of the year for the Jewish people and was our day of atonement. Uncle Al then told me I could only have Yom Kippur off if I used a vacation day. I told him that I was planning on using all my vacation for the first week in October to see my family. He said, "Okay, I will see you tomorrow." Wow.

So what do I do? I have come to the conclusion that all I can really do is go into work and smile and act like everything is okay...that and I went out and bought an exceptional bottle of wine and drank it all.

My Strange and Random Life

I have decided that I do not live a normal life. For those of you who know me, this is neither shocking nor surprising. Last weekend, I attended a Jello Wrestling Party. Yes, that's right. Jello Wrestling. And no, I did not partake in the aforementioned activities. Apparently, there are companies that specialize in providing the equipment necessary for these events, such as blow up pools and gelatin. At the party, I drank a lot of beer and ate a lot of Jello shots. I also a met a group of hot British boys. When I asked what they were doing in SoCal, one told me he worked at the LA Zoo...as a "Penguin Erector." At first, I thought he meant that he helped the little guys get hard when they were trying to procreate, and was a bit perplexed. Then, the guy said that when penguins fall over, you have 30 seconds to pick them up before they die. I thought this was a load of shit and burst into to laughter and continued to question the Brit about his alleged profession. Although he put together a good story, I came to the conclusion that it was just a feeble attempt at a conversation starter to pick up girls.

I have come to the conclusion that boys/men/the male half of the species anywhere near my age are not attracted to me for some reason. I get hit on...a lot. But not my men my age. They are closer to my father's age (or in some cases my grandfather's) or in high school. This week, I was told by some old car dealer that he enjoyed looking up my skirt! I was drooled over by co-workers around my dad's age, and asked out for a margarita when I was getting my Charger washed by some old dude! Then this weekend I decided to go to the beach. I hit up Laguna and Newport (hence the beautiful picture...looks more like le Cote d'Azur or Israel than SoCal). I was chatting with the uber hot, yet very young lifeguard before the boys sitting next to me decided to make their move. We got to talking and they wanted me to come to some keg party they were crashing that the seniors were throwing...seniors in high school!!! Why don't men between 25 and 40 like me? Yes, I know I am only 24, but I 'em old! But not geriatric style with canes.

In the past week, I have been in contact with a number of people I had lost touch with-
1. The kind, old man who ran the hotel I stayed at in Grenoble, France
2. A former crush who I now think is a Christian arrogant asshole and tried to hit me up for a job
3. A semi-current crush who I drunkenly confessed my love for at a graduation party and one of the few Jews at Pepperdine
4. The former best friend with whom I had a falling out with of sorts
Random and unexpected, indeed.

In A Sense, We Are All On An Island

The title of this blog entry is strange and random, because the entry itself will be strange and random. It is more or less a collection of thoughts. It got its title from one of my random comments during a conversation with two of my favorites- Kaddie and Ryan. I spoke with Kaddie today, and she mentioned that little Saraism- in a sense, we are all on an island. So I felt it was only appropriate to use it as a title.

I was recently in Detroit for two weeks for a conference for work. Yes, that was two fucking weeks in Detroit. And what, you may ask, would I do in Detroit for two weeks? Well, I did my work shit, but I also have some stories...would you expect any less? I was in Motown for new hire training, so I got to meet a lot of other people from all around the country. I think most of them hate me. While the majority of my colleagues went out drinking and got hammered in front of VPs every night, I for once was a good girl. I did not show up to our training sessions hung over, so I was engaged and asked about a million questions and networked with the VPs. I know everyone was sick of my questions by the end of day two. And now for the juicy stuff from the Sara you all know and love! As per the norm, I managed to be a drunken slut. One of the few times I did go out, my buddy Steve and I hit the town of Royal Oak. And somehow, I managed to hook up with his friend in true Drunken Sara fashion. As many of you know, while some people may do stupid things when inebriated, I do stupid people. Also as many of you know, I am allergic to almost everything on the planet. And the next day after my alcohol-induced escapades, I ate something that I am allergic to. I looked like Will Smith in the movie Hitch and couldn't breath! So, the day after hooking up with his friend, Steve the Saint drove me to the hospital! I had to get steroid injections because my Epi Pen was expired and got a prescription for 'roid. I heart Steve. I also was able to go to the Woodward Dream Cruise, which is more or less a parade of incredible classic cars and American automotive at its finest. I was also able to meet up with my one friend in Detroit..and that is all I have to say about D-town...until my next trip.

Things are much better at work. Ever since my momentary lapse of genius with the computer program, Tiny Tim seems to hate me just a little bit less. It has made my life much better.

Now that we are older, I have developed great relationships with my two sisters. One of them of out to visit a little while ago, and we had the best time. It is so nice that we are able to get along now. I also get along well with the parentals. It is more like we are friends. I love seeing my family because we have so much fun together and are able to drink and hang out. I am trying to make a trip back East in October and I am getting more and more excited about the idea. This is a first.

Last week was crazy insanely busy at work. And of course, it also happened to be the week when my friend from Detroit was in SoCal. His name is Nati. I might as well name him since I have mentioned him a few times. We met on the Birth Right trip in Israel and he works for Delloitte in Detroit- how random is that?!?! Even thought I did not get to spend much time with him (which I feel SO guilty about), we were able to spend some "quality time" together, as cheesy as it sounds. It was so nice to talk to someone my age with a good job and who has similar views on politics and life in general. I live alone, so it was nice to come home to someone for a change!

This is Labor Day Weekend. I have decided that I need to take some Sara Time, so to speak. As a result, I have done whatever I fucking feel like doing. I have been yoga-ing and hitting up Malibu. Some people need to be around other people all the time. I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself. I enjoy just being me! I think it is rare in this day and age when a person can be perfectly content to get from he or she needs from within and not have to look to others to fulfill that need. I'd like to think I am able to do this because although I am not a very religious person, I consider myself to be spiritual and in touch with Sara...okay no more third person references. I am not Bob Dole, but I do recommend reading his autobiography from when he fought during WWII. It was excellent! Right now, I cam working on "My Friend Leonard," which is the sequel to "A Million Little Pieces." Ron Chernow's "Alexander Hamilton," and William S. Bourrough's "Naked Lunch." I need to finish at least one of them this weekend. All of the books are very different, but very good in their own right. That's another thing. I don't think people read enough these days. Or write letters. Letter writing is a lot art.

Seriously, I Kick Ass!

My week got off to rough start Sunday. Yes, I know Sunday is not the start of the week, but I am a Cashew. And for us Jews it is the first day, so that's what I'm going from. But that's not the point. The point was my Sunday was crap. I decided to sit out by the pool for a bit. This greasy gross Italian guy comes up to me and would not stop talking! He was fat and hairy and old. This dude would not stop talking to me. I acted like I needed to read my book and constantly checked my mobile. He asked me if I wanted to come to his place for some pasta. When I said no, he asked why and I said, "I'm allergic," which sounds bitchy, but is actually the truth. Buddy still didn't get the hint! Thankfully, one of my sisters called and I was saved by the bell. Shortly afterward I had to leave because I was tricked into a blind date. (But unfortunately I ran into him at the market while I was headed to my car. He asked me if I had a car and needed a ride. I was like, well I am in the parking lot. If I didn't have a car, how the hell did I get here?)

And the experience just reaffirmed all rumors and hearsay about blind dates and why they are horrible. The guy was not only not the type I would be attracted to, he was a complete self-absorbed asshole. He was also a loser. This guy was 27 years old, went to film school, ad recently moved out of his parents' place. He reads screenplays and play poker for a living. He has been outside of LA County like five times in his whole fucking life (including our dinner in Irvine) and has never ventured further away from home than Vegas. He hates school and reading. This guy could only talk about himself the entire night and did not ask me one goddamn question. And the only things he was able to talk about were the film industry and ultimate fighting! Eww! I tried to talk to him about real sports, like baseball, and he turned to ultimate fighting. During this topic, he mentioned three or four times that he was 5'10"...but I don't know if that was in feet and inches or what, because I am 5'8" and I am taller!

I mentioned I work for DaimlerChrysler and tried to talk about cars. This "man" didn't know what a Charger was! He knew nothing about current affairs and when I tried to talk about Darfur (one of my personal interests), he suggested that it was a good thing the Europeans came in there and colonized Africa because those people "were in the dark and need to be enlightened. They had no form of education and the continent was backwards." I was ready to rip him a new one at this point! I totally went off and shared my vast knowledge of Africa (seriously, for a white girl, I know a lot about Africa).

Buddy was also waaaay more of a girl that I am. He is a vegetarian (and when prompted as to why, could not explain himself) and has more peroxide in his hair than I do! But he could not dress for shit. On top of that, he acted like he knew nothing about me going into this, yet didn't ask one fucking question about me! My "friend" who orchestrated the whole thing later information she gave him a full debriefing on multiple occasions. At the end on the meal, I asked how much I owed. He said nothing if I bought him a few drinks. So after we get out of there, I said I had to get home to finish up some stuff for work. He didn't even offer to walk me to my car, tell me to get home safe or have a good night or ANYTHING! Just bye.

What a fucking asshole. This is a prime example of why it is so hard to find a decent man.

But after that, things turned up! On this week's episode of "Entourage" Debi Mazar's character was wearing the same exact pair of red patent leather heels that I have owned for months. I felt cool.

And at work this week, I totally converted Tiny Tim into a Sara Fan...or at least got myself off his Shit List. I created this program in Excel that analyzes our market movement reports, which come out monthly, for each segment and market we compete. All you have to do is download and overwrite the previous month's report, and the program does the rest! When I showed it to Tiny, he was floored! He said how impressed he was and called the program awesome. He told me I did a great job a few times and thanked me!!!!! Using my name!!!! And then he deemed me worthy of redistricting the West Business Center. It's nice to know he doesn't think I am the dumb blonde that I look like anymore. I am going to be traveling a lot for work over the next few weeks, and he told me to have a great time and he looked forward to seeing me when I returned. Wow. I am a happy girl! And word has spread throughout the office and they all think I' a genius! Go me! The downside is that I have no life outside of work...

Overheard in SoCal

While at the pool in my little complex, I over heard a conversation between two little girls around the same age in the kiddie pool:

Girl 1: Hi, I am Nicole. Who are you?
Girl 2: I think I am Jenny.
Girl 1: I am two years old. And I have a birthday! How old are you?
Girl 2: I don't know.
Girl 1: Don't you have a birthday?
Girl 2: I don't know.
Girl 1: But everyone has a birthday! Don't you know anything?
Mother of Girl 2: Come on Kim, how old are you?

Wow, kids these days! They just keep getting more and more stupid!

I went to my favorite yoga studio, Santa Monica Power Yoga. Here are some words and phrases one typically does not hear out of the instructor's mouth during class (please note that afterwards he came up an totally hit on me, and those words/phrases are not included):

1. climax
2. flirt
3. ride it
4. apparatus
5. open your legs wide
6. Kegle
7. nice clam
8. penetration
9. wanton
10. reproduce
11. fornicate

Yes, it certainly was an sexually charged class...or my mind is in the gutter.

My Boss the Asshole, Sexist, and Anti-Semetic Douche Bag

I hate my boss. But I only hate Tiny Tim because he hated me first and is not afraid to show and make it clear to everyone in the office. He also hates women and blondes in general, which is not a good thing for me. I am also about a foot taller than him and waaaaaaaaaaay smarter than him. So he probably feels threatened by me- the smart blonde Amazon who is a good ten or fifteen years younger than him. What a fucking pussy!

The new guy, Steve, is a guy. So Tiny Tim loves him. Steve has been here about a week and TT knew his name on the first day. TT only knew mine after three weeks. I have been at Daimler Chrysler for about three months and understand the business and how things are done at the company. I also have an MBA. Steve only has a BA. Today, I was helping Steve get acquainted with some of the systems we use, how to create an expense report, and those kinds of things. Because I am a nice person. Then Tiny Tim saw this and had to call Steve into his office. He wants Steve for work on a forecasting plan for him! Steve doesn't even know what a forecasting plan is, let alone how to create one! And he admitted it! Grrrr...I'll probably end up doing it and Steve will get the credit.

Seriously, what the fuck!?!?!?! Don't get me wrong, I like Steve. He's a nice guy. And Tiny Tim would have treated any other male in that position in the exact same way. So it's nothing again Stevie ole boy. But still, it is so not fair. And it's not just me. Tiny Tim treats all the women in the office like shit. He pushes them off his calendar to make room for the men. His AA was in a really bad car accident and he didn't even ask her if she was okay! In fact, he told her not to come into work because all the phone calls she would have to make would be a nuisance to him. I told my dad some of this stuff, and he goes, "What a neanderthal!" I love my dad.

Now the big question is, what is my game plan? How do I deal with this bull shit in a graceful and effective manner? My answer is work my ass off and let the results speak for themselves. I try to let my results speak for themselves. When I am not busy, I ask the AAs and other people in the office if there is anything I can do to help them. (But I am worried that this will give Tiny Tim the impression that I should be an AA...not that there is anything wrong with being an AA, but it is not what I want to be.) I try to be one of the first to get in the office in the morning and one of the last to leave at night. I am just going to do everything I can to show Tiny Tim that I am smart and capable and the type of person he wants on his team. And if that doesn't work, he can go fuck himself. I hope that if he reproduces (which let's all hope he doesn't- his kids would be the most fucked up little dwarfs), that he has daughters and this will change his way of thinking. But you know what, either way he will be sorry. In a few years when I am his boss, he will be sorry. I'll send his ass back to Detroit and put him in some horrible "penalty box" job.

On a side note, I know long have "The Tank" (aka the Commander). I know have a fully loaded Dodge Charger STR8...425 horsepower, 420 pound feet of torque, 6.1 liter V8 Hemi...oh yeah! And it does 0 - 60 in 4.5 seconds...it has a timer, so I know this from experience!

My Many "Talents" Part II

6. Have Fun When Doing Nothing

One of my sisters was in town this past weekend and we had the best time just hanging out. (Her and I could not be more different...actually all three of the Kleiman Girls are their own people. Laura, the one that visited, just graduated from university and is now in Oregon for a government internship. She is tracking plant life on an Indian reservation...she's a bit of a hippie. Anna is attending F.I.T. in Manhattan...she was to design window displays for department stores. I kinda see our situation as I am polluting the world, Laura is trying to save it, and Anna is decorating it!) We watched movies, went gymming, yoga, cruised through Malibu and Santa Monica, and spent some good, quality drunken time together!

7. Too Much Chutzpah For My Own Good

Somehow, I am able to really piss people off without trying. My mom says that I have too much chutzpah for my good. I am finding out very quickly that this is not a good thing in the "Old Boys' Club" of the automotive world. I got a new boss over three weeks ago. Until four days ago, he did not know my name. He told me that he has been too busy to deal with me and has told others that I "don't count." Tiny Tim (that's my nickname for him that only comes with the most sincere form of love and affection) probably does not like me too much because:

1) I have pointed out mistakes he has made

2) I am not afraid to ask "those kinds" of question one isn't supposed to ask

3) I am not a WASPy male...it has become evident that Tiny Tim only likes those who are like himself- middle-aged major male

8. The Mall Compass

No matter where I am- California, Toronto, New York, France, Italy, Israel, etc.- I have this incredible gift that follows me. I have the ability to find a shopping mall or the main shopping district closest to where I am. It's uncanny, really. I almost feel like I have a honing device implanted in me. 8. The Blonde Factor For someone so smart, I can very much be a dumb blonde at times. For instance, Stasha and I are driving down Bundy with all the windows down. In all my glory, I forget that my brand new Benetton suit is hanging up in the back seat. I realize this just in time to see it fly out the window. At the time, it seemed like a really good idea to slam on my brakes in the middle of traffic, pull a U-turn and stop to retrieve my prized possession. I don't mess around when it comes to clothes...but I did almost cause a five-car pile-up as a result. The Blonde Factor strikes again.

Vegas, baby!

Poor, Sara. She has to spend nearly a full week at a high-end Las Vegas resort with all expenses paid by Daimler Chrysler. When she gets back to Orange County, the unlucky soul has to trade in her Jeep Commander for a brand new Dodge Charger STR8...with a 6.1 liter V8 Hemi with 425 horsepower and 420 pounds of torque. Drivers beware!

But anyway, Vegas has been an experience. I have a few days before the training conference begins to myself. Day I, I proceeded directly to the pool after getting to the resort. I then order lunch and drinks, so I could really enjoy the sun! But oh my god, it was fucking hot as hell! I was outside for maybe two minutes before I started sweating profusely and was forced to seek relief in the Waterfall Oasis section of the spa. Day II was similar experience.

My streak of attracting all the crazies within a 50 mile radius is null and void in Sin City and has been expanded to include the entire Clark County of Nevada. I swear, no matter where I was (the plane, the airport, the resort, the casino, the pool...) every strange male ages 15 to 150 had to come and have some form of contact with me. The worst was some dude by the pool. I was laying in a lounge chair reading by the cabana DaimlerChrysler rented for the day. This older man with long hair and a bad body decided he just HAD to come over and say hello. I was nice and polite, but thought I had made it clear that I was not interested by not putting my book down (Bridget Jones' Diary) and continuing to read. Buddy did not get the hint and proceeded to ask me to accompany him to the casino that night! (He was a nice Southern boy and actually used the word accompany.) I flatly declined and said I was there for business.

I will say, the highlight was being IDed by a cocktail waitress! It is nice to know my 24 years aren't showing yet.

It's a Lipstick Jungle Out There!

The trip to Detroit was an experience, to say the least. I was hit on incessantly by men my father's age and older, both dealers and DCX colleagues. One of them tried to pick me up by telling me about his wife and kids, and what they don't know won't hurt them! Another used the "I'm in a band and here's my CD" line. All the dirty old men aside, it was a good trip. I had never been to Motown before, and I kinda liked it! I fell in love with the tiny suburb of Birmingham and have decided that I where I will live when I am CEO of the company! For me, the two best parts of the trip were-

1. Seeing the beautiful new Dodge Challenger

2. Having dinner with a friend I met in Israel

I do think I learned a lot on the trip, so I guess that's a plus, too! The corportate AmEx also got quite a bit of exercise, which was fun because it was like going on a free vacation almost.

And then in true Sara fashion, I get off the plane at LAX and am drunk within about ninty minutes. The weekend was filled with some of my favorite things- Lara, beer pong, Stasha, alcohol, shopping, yoga, and hours at the salon.

I did not get back to the Land of Boobs Jobs and Married Couples (aka Orange County) until late Sunday. It was not until Monday morning before hitting the gym that I realized I had an Extreme Blonde Moment- I left all my business clothes in Santa Monica and had a suitcase full of laundry! After I got to Stasha's I thought I was SO smart by hanging my suits in her closet so they wouldn't wrinkle...but I was not so smart in leaving them there. So in stretching the boundaries of business casual to the max, I managed to pull something together.

I get to the gym, workout, and then shower and change for work. Half-way through doing my hair, the dryer dies! I show up to work totally dishevled- hair half-curly, half-straight in an outfit that doesn't quite work. Then I find out that a bunch of VPs from Detroit are in town and we are supposed to dress all businessy for the week. I was not too pleased. I told the AAs if I didn't come back from lunch, they could find me at Nordstrom's curled up in the fetal position between the Jimmy Choos and Manolo Blahniks. I went out and I bought two very cute and expensive suits. I get to work today, only to discover the assholes aren't going to be in the office for the rest of the week!

Lingerie...and other notes from all over!

Lingerie
I have decided that the one down-side to being single is the fact that I have a very extensive lingerie collection and no one to show it off to! The occasional (or in my case all too often) one-night stand does not provide adequate opportunities to make the most out of my undergarment wardrobe...any takers?

Deeeeeeeeeeeeeetroit!
Monday I am going on my first business trip! Yippeeee! My boss is sending me to a conference in Detroit for the week. I am excited to get out of the office and see someplace new. The AAs are worrier about their girl. They said some of my colleagues and the dealers are "dirty old men." Apparently some real drinking will take place in the after-conference bar hoping. They are worried that some of the old men will try to take advantage of some fresh female blood. One of the older men that I work (who I am attending the conference with) told me that if he were ten years younger and in his wilder days (before he was married with kids), he would use this trip with me to his full advantage. Ewwww! This dude is nearly my dad's age! Although I have gotten so bored with the lack of male eye candy that I have resorted to flirting with men my dad's age...so gross, I know. I may be place in the same district as one of them if he does not accept the retirement package...double ewww!

Fake Boobs- This one's for you, Lara!
I have had more exposure to breast implants in the last month than I have in my whole life. I have come to the following conclusions under which circumstance to buy them are acceptable-
1. You are totally uneven and one side is WAY bigger than the other
2. You had breast cancer and want to still feel like a woman after a mastectomy
3. Your name is Lara and you want to be hotter than humanly possible...even though you already were before you got them and now it's just unfair to the rest of us to have to compete again that. (She is the blonde in the picture...oh wait, that doesn't help...she's holding the glass of wine.)

A-Rod
So, when the Yankees were in Toronto playing the Jays, my man A-Rod was spotted at the Brass Rail. This is the same strip club the boys took me to for my 19th birthday. Yeah, A-Rod and I like the strip club...I am not sure what this says about either one of us. But after seeing what those girls do, it looks really fucking hard! Even if the pole rotates! Emmers the Great and I have this wonderful plan of participating in an amateur night one day...we call it Plan B.

Me
I want to be happy with me how I am right now. I wish I didn't always want to lose ten pounds, or to be smarter or prettier or change this or that about me. I WISH I could want to be me and be happy with me exactly how I am now.

My Many "Talents" Part I

There are some things I have a talent for...but I am not sure if "talent" is the right word to use. I guess they are just strange things that always seem to happen to me. Judge for yourself!

1. Lost Luggage
Almost every time I am on an airplane, my bags are lost! This is a horrible thing and I absolutely hate it. The worst was when I came back from a summer interning in France. My bags sat in the Frankfurt airport for fucking days! All my clothes were in those two bags and everything else I owned was in storage. And when I finally got my bags back, over $700 worth of gifts were missing! I was really pissed.

2. Attracting All the Weirdos
This also is not a good thing. Wherever I go, so does every crazy in the city. In Europe, I had some insane guy chase me down an alley offering me an envelope full of money...not cool. On St. Patrick's y Day an odd Irish guy with teeth that were definitely the product of the British health care system (EWWWW) would not leave me alone! He kept trying to talk to me about how he has photographed all these famous people and would not stop looking at my nonexistent cleavage. And when he wasn't trying to talk to me, every homeless man in Santa Monica was! This past weekend some old guy my dad's again wanted to take me back to Greece with him...and then there was the time in Oxford when an angry Englishman punched me and knocked me out after I rejected him...and the many stalkers I've had...so not cool.

3. Shopping
This is a good thing. No matter what you are looking for, I can tell you where to buy it! Whenever a friend needs a dress or suit, I am their woman and know exactly what store to go to. I also pride myself on always having the exact perfect pair of shoes and hand bag to accessorizes any fashion ensemble. At times, I have been known to find incredible deals- $17 designer dresses, $45 stilettos, $20 jeans...it truly is a gift!

4. Adventures with Emmers the Great
Emily, one of my girls from Toronto, and I always manage to have fun and cause some trouble when we are together. Whether we are having a night of debauchery on the town or a night in with the porn on good ole CBC, there is always some great story to go with it...which leads me to my next skill...

5. The Stories
Along with my shopping skills, I am also know among my peeps for having the best stories. Only I can turn a simple trip to the gym into an hour-long tale of random trials and tribulation. I can spend the whole car ride to Palo Alto recounting just a small portion of my epic narratives of the past 24 years.

Hells yeah, this baby's got a Hemi!

I survived the first week of my new job! Yay! The company was sold on my first day, so it got off to an interesting start. I also got my company car- a Jeep Commander! It's huge and has just about every option known to man- navigation, satellite radio, leather, camera...and a Hemi! So not only is it big, it's fast. It is black with tinted windows and has more chrome than I have ever seen in my life- it looks like it came from a rap video...I feel like a bad-ass pimp when I drive it! It's great! The one bad thing is this tank gets about ten miles per gallon...but then again, I'm not paying for gas, so I don't care!

Everyone I work with is nice, but on average about ten or fifteen years older than me. I feel very young. I met some of the other district managers today, and I am the only one under the age of thirty and one of the few women. It is a very strange situation for me. I am used to being one of the younger ones, but I am by far and away the baby! Many of these men are my dad's age! It does make me feel almost like a spy or something- I have successfully infiltrated the Old Boys' Club of the automotive world! This week I have my first business trip- a few days of golf and the 2008 Chrysler, Jeep, and Dodge line-up in Laguna Beach!

On another note, I am finding Orange County to be a very weird place. It is very suburban and mostly families live here. Anyone my age is married with a baby carriage and everyone female over the age of eighteen has HUGE breast implants! I am afraid that some of them will burst or poke the wearer in the eye! They are kinda disgusting because they don't really move- they just sit there no matter what the rest of the body is doing.

Yesterday I went to the market after the gym. I was gross and sweaty in my workout clothes, with no make-up and my hair pulled back. And this kid came up to me and asked me what I was doing for prom! He thought I was in high school! I told him I was a little to old to be going to prom. It's nice to know I still look young!

My Mother's Italian, My Father's Jewish, and I'm in Therapy!

I saw an advertisement for the Off-Broadway play "My Mother's Italian, My Father's Jewish, and I'm in Therapy!" And for some reason, I was able to identify with the title, as all parts hold true for me. My mom comes from an Italian Roman Catholic family and my dad comes from a Russian-Polish Jewish family...so that makes me a Cashew! And I am in therapy...but that's a whole other story!

For the most part, the two sides of the family get along great. I think part of the reason is because the Jewish and Italian cultures are so similar and have many shared values. My grandmothers were so much a like and were very close friends. The problem is not the relationship between the two sides of my family, but within each side. Whenever there are family gatherings, there never fails to be some sort of drama or fight. My mom's brother and sister hate each other. My aunt gets pissed off when we see my uncle and she's not told in advanced, yet she refuses to see him. My mom's aunt just hates everyone. My dad's sister managed to piss everyone off. My dad's father divorces his mother a long time ago, and his new wife always gets in a fight with someone. So, between the two families, I never know what to expect!

This is the abbreviated, light, short version of the Kleiman Family, but I think you get the picture. You can imagine my shock when I went home for a visit that everyone got along! One of my sisters graduated from university, so my parents had a party for us, as I graduated a month or so ago. My mom's siblings played nice together, and my grandmother behaved herself, although her appearance was brief. None the less, it was surprising WWIII didn't break out.

Overall, the trip back East was good- short and sweet! TO was fun, and Fairport was...Fairport. I was happy to see my family and my sister graduate. Now she is off to Oregon where she will be interning for the government. She will be working on an Indian Reservation tracking plant life...riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. And my other sister will be home for the summer. She goes to F.I.T. in Manhattan. How different can we be and still be related?!?! I was really happy that I was able to be home for Mother's Day, or at least part of it.

It is always difficult for me to come home because I hate leaving. It isn't that I don't want to leave, but I get the world's biggest guilt trip from my parents! They always say how much they miss me and don't get to see me enough and just go on and on and on. And I feel so bad because I hardly every go home. It's hard to actually WANT to go to a small suburb outside of Rochester, New York, when you live in SoCal! There is nothing to do. I feel like I am in the middle of nowhere. Seriously, there are like cows and farms and lots of trees and no traffic! The shopping and nightlife suck. But I go because I love my family.

Oooot and Aboooot in Toronto, eh!

As always, my trip to Toronto was a wonderful and interesting one. I stayed with my partner in crime, Emily (or who I like to call Emmers the Great because she is). Whenever the two of us are together, we have so much fun and manage to cause some trouble. This visit was no exception.

Now that we are both no longer living in the T-dot, we have a greater appreciation for the city and how much we love it. As soon as we got off the subway and walked on to the street, we both looked at each other and said, "Ahhh, Toronto! We are home!" We hit some of our favorite stores and bars in our old stomping ground.

It felt so good to be back in the city I love. I guess the only way to explain the role Toronto has in my life is to compare to New York City in "Sex and the City." It has almost taken on a persona of its own. Whenever I go back and visit, I feel like I am seeing an old friend. Even when there are new stores and buildings, I still know my way and feel comfortable...like I never left. At the same time, there are things about the city that piss me off, like the flaws of a person. It gets cold and icy in the winter. The Maple Leafs haven't made it to the playoffs since before the strike. When it gets humid, there are smog warnings. But, as with someone you love, you look past the flaws to embrace to finer qualities. Great shopping, great bars, and great people.

Whenever I think of Toronto, I am overcome with memories of university and the people who helped make my four years as meaning as they were. I remember the stress and pressure I felt from my calc and com sci classes first year, and I remember the feeling of accomplishment when I turned in my thesis on the American response to the humanitarian crisis in Darfur, which was my last mark for U of T. I remember the fear of writing my first exam and the joy of writing my last. Whenever I walk through Queen's Park, I remember those morning runs I got up really early for so I could see Matthew McConaughey practice chi-chee...and all the drunken stumbles home back to residence!

I also have the most incredible group of friends who have shared these moments and many more with me. They have been there to support me through the most difficult time in my life. They have seen me at rock bottom and at the top of the world.

Each time I go back to Toronto, it reminds me of how much I love the city and how lucky I am to have my friends.

In the words of Gwen Stefani- I'm Just An Orange County Girl

I somehow managed to pack up my 57 pursues, 217 pairs of shoes, 34 skirts (...yeah, you get the point- I have a lot clothes and accessories) and move to the OC! It's different from LA County. I mean there is still traffic, but it seems more residential and newer. The people here are different, too. Much less Hollywood. And there seems to be two categories- 1. The Rich and Beautiful, 2. The Poor and Ugly. Either you are extremely good looking and drive a fast German car, or you are trashy and drive around in a pick-up truck or mini-van. I do not fall into either category, although I wish I belonged to the first...maybe someday after I've made my millions that will buy that hot car and pay for my plastic surgery, but for now I am in my own category.

I am doing about a good a job of unpacking as I did packing. Yesterday, I went to Calabasas to get the rest of my things. Then to Santa Monica for the gym and yoga. And then back here. But of course I did not unpack. I had to explore the local shopping opportunities. Next, I discovered the horrible, zombifying force known as DIGITAL CABLE! I have never been much of a television watcher (aside from Grey's Anatomy and Project Runway, as well as the occasional C-SPAN and E! at the gym). And as a student, I have had little time to go to movies. So when I made the discovery that my new condo has all these premium movie channels, I got sucked in. Game over. I lost, HBO won. I don't think I have ever watched so much TV at one time when I wasn't sick! Mind you, I am only talking about four hours and during most of those four hours I was doing other extremely productive things, such as talking on the phone. And then today I hit the gym and worked on my tan. Contrary to popular belief, it is work! It is hard to get that perfect, even tan (or in my case burn). It must be timed precisely and take many variables into consideration, such as time of day, angle of the sun, nearby bodies of water, splashing children, and attractive males.

Now I am actually doing a little unpacking, but that is only because I need to pack for my trip back East. God, I feel like all I do is pack, unpack, pack, unpack! I also need more storage for my extensive wardrobe. The one measly closet is not enough for a fashionista such as myself. So why bother unpacking until I've gotten back from Toronto and New York, and I have a place to put things!

Speaking of the trip back East, I am very excited! I am going to Toronto for a few days to visit with my friends, shop, and cause some drunken trouble with the Girlies. The Girlies and I always manage to consume one too many shots of tequilla and then have crazy adventures. I can't wait to see what we do this time! And then I am off to New York! One of my sisters is graduating from university and the whole fam wants to see me. Family get-togethers are always an interesting experience. Let me just say that my immediate family is very functional, it's just the extended family on both sides that's fucked up. It never fails for a fight to break-out on holidays, weddings, funerals, or other events that require families to gather together. I am looking forward to the trip, but I don't know what to expect. At least I know I will be well dressed!

Pep-talks with Daddy- Heartless bitch versus Strong, Dumb blonde versus Intimidating Intelligence?

So, my parents are great (as seen in the picture). I always have a great time with them and appreciate their and support. But sometimes my dad will give me these pep-talks and I am not always sure what to make of them.

Pep-talk I
As I have mentioned before, I don't form strong emotional attachments to people. I move on and get over things. I have never cried over a boy. Even when my ex-boyfriend of three years broke-up with me via email (which is almost as bad as a Post-It), I didn't cry. When I found out I was married with a kid and had cheated on me, I didn't cry then either. I am brutally honest, almost to a fault, because I would rather tell the truth than spare someone's feelings. On numerous occasions, this had lead my friends and those close to me to tell me that I am a Heartless Bitch. I am close with my dad, so I told him this during one of our many phone conversations. After what I can only imagine was a few minutes of contemplation over silence, he said, "Oh sweetie, it's not that you are heartless, it's just that you are strong!" He went on to tell me that this was nothing to be upset about and my mental toughness is something to take pride in. And those who tell me that I am heartless are really just jealous of my inner strength. It shows that I have a strong sense of self. I think being strong is much better than being a Heartless Bitch. Now whenever I am called a Heartless Bitch, I say that I am not heartless, just strong! And you are just jealous of my inner strength!

Pep-talk II
This little Pep-talk left me a bit miffed, to be honest. (Miffed, what a strange word is that?!?! I don't sound 24 when I use that word, but I like it anyway. It also means discombobulated, petulant, vexed, unbrageous, and piqued, which are also all excellent words.) He wanted to give me some advice about the corporate world so I wouldn't make the same mistakes he made. Now, this starts out all nice and good. He tells me that there will be some people I will work with who do not like me and will do everything to see that I do not succeed. My dad said I need to ignore it, as hard as it might be, and rise above it to let me stellar performance speak for itself. As a District Manager, I would be working with Daimler Chrysler dealership and analyzing performance, helping them to identify areas of improvement, help them improve, blah blah blah. He went on to tell me that he thought I would get along great with the dealership owners, who are primarily older white males. So far, so good. He then went on to say that the other DMs would hate me!!! Not so good. He said that because I am a young, blonde, female the dealership owners would love me, but this is also the reason the other DMs would hate me. My dad said that "once they realize how smart you are it will shock them and they won't like it and won't want you to do well. They will not expect you to be so smart because of how you look." Hmmm, so basically my dad told me that I look like I am a dumb blonde, but because I am not, people won't like me. Talk about a left-handed compliment! I am not sure what to make of this one. At least he didn't call me stupid, only that I look stupid.

All that being said, I found the Pep-talks valuable. My dad is great and understands me like no one else. But I think we share the same fault- we are strong and brutally honest!

Moving

For the past week or so I have been "packing." And by "packing" I mean I say that I am going to sort through and organize everything I own, throw out the stuff I don't want, and put the rest into boxes. The key phrase here is the "I say that I am going to." Thus far, I have been incredibly unsuccessful. I keep finding things I would rather be doing. This is far worse than my procrasti-studying with excessive cleaning. At least then I was being productive. Now I am just doing things like writing in my blog and painting my toe nails.

I am not sure why I am putting it off for so long. I'm not sad to be moving or scared or anything. I think that it's just not the most fun thing in the world. This time last year I was getting ready to move to France, and two years ago I was getting ready to move out of my place in Toronto. A lot of people get sad or scared when it's time to move. They don't want to leave the friends and life they have built for themselves behind, or go somewhere new and different. These things don't bother me...maybe because I have moved so much in life and haven't had the same address for more than three or four years ever.

Moving around so much has taught me a lot. I know that I will stay in touch with the people in my life who are important and meaningful to me. These are the people that I don't say goodbye to, but rather tell them I am looking forward to the next time we see each other. I see moving to a new place where I don't know anyone as an adventure! I get to leave all the bad things about my past behind and only bring the good to my new life. It means there will be all new shops, restaurants, bars, and places to discover and new people to meet. I have never really formed strong emotional connections to people and don't have a problem leaving the old friends behind to make new ones. I normally meet people and make friends easily, so going someplace new alone doesn't scare me. It also give me some time to just be alone with me, which I do enjoy from time to time.

Moving is not the end to an old life, but the beginning of a new one.

Miss Independent

I really hate being told what to do by anyone. I don't understand why people think I need help or to be fixed or can't do things on my own. I'm a big girl and if I need something, I am not afraid to ask for it. Actually, I want to do things on my own and don't like relying on anyone for anything. And the fact that another person thinks I need help or to be fixed or whatever, means that person does not accept me for who I am at that moment in time. My mom tells me that guys are intimidated by my independence. She thinks that most men are not able handle a woman who doesn't need them. I am really beginning to see that she is right.

One thing I am working on is being comfortable and happy with me as I am now. And part of me is being single and self-reliant. Sometimes I think that the people around have more of a problem with me being single than I do. Whenever I go home, I am always asked when I am going to get married and settled down. It's also one of the first questions I am asked when I meet new people. When I say that I am single, I am then told that it's okay and I'll find someone. What, like it's not okay? I don't have a problem with it, so why should anyone else?

I like just being me. When I was in a long-term relationship, I think I lost sight of who I saw. So much of my identity and who I was ended up being in another person. Looking back, I don't think this was a good thing. I think it contributes to my quest and desire for independence. At the same time, being with someone who wanted me gave me a sense of validity. I think that in life, everyone wants to be wanted and values and for many people this comes in a relationship with another person. For a long time, it did for me. Now I try to do things for me, not for someone else. It makes me a stronger person to make decisions based on what I want and to really identify the reasons for myself.

When I am asked if I will ever get married and have a family, I always say that I am happy just being me. But at the same time, if someone came along who loved me for me, then maybe things would be different. But I have yet to meet that person, so I can't say. But for now, I am happy just being me.

My First Time

Well, I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have a blog. So, I've jumped on the bandwagon. I am normally not one to do things just because everyone else does them and I actually like being different and doing things my own way, but this looked kind of fun. I have no idea if anyone will read this or find my life remotely interesting, but please leave comments so I know if people read this and/or if it sucks!

So, I guess these blog things are like on-line diaries or something. I'll start off with a little self-intro. Hi, my name is Sara. That's me in the picture, but you probably guessed that. It's from the graduation dinner and I am predrinking at the bar with my parents...they are some interesting characters! I just received my MBA from Pepperdine. I went to undergrad at the University of Toronto and, contrary to popular believe, I am not Canadian. I'm from Fairport, New York, which is a small town outside of Rochester, but I have lived in DC, France, and England, among other places. But after spending most of my life in the old and snow, I decided I needed to live in the sun. And that's how I ended up in SoCal. Now that I am done with school, I will be working for Daimler Chrysler. I love cars, so it's the perfect company for me...give me five years and I'll be the CEO! Hahaha!


Anyway, that's me.

Now that I am between school and work, I have a lot of free time on my hands for the first time in my life. It is weird not being a student anymore. It's been nice to have some time for myself to see friends, practice yoga, hit the beach, and shop. Today was the perfect beach day- not too hot with just a slight breeze. I went with just me, a book, and some frozen yogurt from Malibu Frozen Yogurt and Ice Cream. And my phone because I hate being cut off from the world. Even though I put on SPF 30, I still managed to get burned. There was hardly anyone at Zuma, which I was happy about because I have the incredible talent for attracting all the weirdos within a five-mile radius. I haven't figured this one out, but whenever I go out all the nasty guys decide they need to hit on me. And it doesn't matter where I am or what I look like. I could be at the grocery store or sweaty and gross from the gym...they always seem to find me.

Well, I am moving to Orange County in a week or so for my new job and I have not started packing. I am very much a last-minute packer, but I am going to try to get most of it done ahead of time, rather than waiting until the night before or day of the move. This is very out of character.