Miss Independent

I really hate being told what to do by anyone. I don't understand why people think I need help or to be fixed or can't do things on my own. I'm a big girl and if I need something, I am not afraid to ask for it. Actually, I want to do things on my own and don't like relying on anyone for anything. And the fact that another person thinks I need help or to be fixed or whatever, means that person does not accept me for who I am at that moment in time. My mom tells me that guys are intimidated by my independence. She thinks that most men are not able handle a woman who doesn't need them. I am really beginning to see that she is right.

One thing I am working on is being comfortable and happy with me as I am now. And part of me is being single and self-reliant. Sometimes I think that the people around have more of a problem with me being single than I do. Whenever I go home, I am always asked when I am going to get married and settled down. It's also one of the first questions I am asked when I meet new people. When I say that I am single, I am then told that it's okay and I'll find someone. What, like it's not okay? I don't have a problem with it, so why should anyone else?

I like just being me. When I was in a long-term relationship, I think I lost sight of who I saw. So much of my identity and who I was ended up being in another person. Looking back, I don't think this was a good thing. I think it contributes to my quest and desire for independence. At the same time, being with someone who wanted me gave me a sense of validity. I think that in life, everyone wants to be wanted and values and for many people this comes in a relationship with another person. For a long time, it did for me. Now I try to do things for me, not for someone else. It makes me a stronger person to make decisions based on what I want and to really identify the reasons for myself.

When I am asked if I will ever get married and have a family, I always say that I am happy just being me. But at the same time, if someone came along who loved me for me, then maybe things would be different. But I have yet to meet that person, so I can't say. But for now, I am happy just being me.

My First Time

Well, I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have a blog. So, I've jumped on the bandwagon. I am normally not one to do things just because everyone else does them and I actually like being different and doing things my own way, but this looked kind of fun. I have no idea if anyone will read this or find my life remotely interesting, but please leave comments so I know if people read this and/or if it sucks!

So, I guess these blog things are like on-line diaries or something. I'll start off with a little self-intro. Hi, my name is Sara. That's me in the picture, but you probably guessed that. It's from the graduation dinner and I am predrinking at the bar with my parents...they are some interesting characters! I just received my MBA from Pepperdine. I went to undergrad at the University of Toronto and, contrary to popular believe, I am not Canadian. I'm from Fairport, New York, which is a small town outside of Rochester, but I have lived in DC, France, and England, among other places. But after spending most of my life in the old and snow, I decided I needed to live in the sun. And that's how I ended up in SoCal. Now that I am done with school, I will be working for Daimler Chrysler. I love cars, so it's the perfect company for me...give me five years and I'll be the CEO! Hahaha!


Anyway, that's me.

Now that I am between school and work, I have a lot of free time on my hands for the first time in my life. It is weird not being a student anymore. It's been nice to have some time for myself to see friends, practice yoga, hit the beach, and shop. Today was the perfect beach day- not too hot with just a slight breeze. I went with just me, a book, and some frozen yogurt from Malibu Frozen Yogurt and Ice Cream. And my phone because I hate being cut off from the world. Even though I put on SPF 30, I still managed to get burned. There was hardly anyone at Zuma, which I was happy about because I have the incredible talent for attracting all the weirdos within a five-mile radius. I haven't figured this one out, but whenever I go out all the nasty guys decide they need to hit on me. And it doesn't matter where I am or what I look like. I could be at the grocery store or sweaty and gross from the gym...they always seem to find me.

Well, I am moving to Orange County in a week or so for my new job and I have not started packing. I am very much a last-minute packer, but I am going to try to get most of it done ahead of time, rather than waiting until the night before or day of the move. This is very out of character.