I really hate being told what to do by anyone. I don't understand why people think I need help or to be fixed or can't do things on my own. I'm a big girl and if I need something, I am not afraid to ask for it. Actually, I want to do things on my own and don't like relying on anyone for anything. And the fact that another person thinks I need help or to be fixed or whatever, means that person does not accept me for who I am at that moment in time. My mom tells me that guys are intimidated by my independence. She thinks that most men are not able handle a woman who doesn't need them. I am really beginning to see that she is right.
One thing I am working on is being comfortable and happy with me as I am now. And part of me is being single and self-reliant. Sometimes I think that the people around have more of a problem with me being single than I do. Whenever I go home, I am always asked when I am going to get married and settled down. It's also one of the first questions I am asked when I meet new people. When I say that I am single, I am then told that it's okay and I'll find someone. What, like it's not okay? I don't have a problem with it, so why should anyone else?
I like just being me. When I was in a long-term relationship, I think I lost sight of who I saw. So much of my identity and who I was ended up being in another person. Looking back, I don't think this was a good thing. I think it contributes to my quest and desire for independence. At the same time, being with someone who wanted me gave me a sense of validity. I think that in life, everyone wants to be wanted and values and for many people this comes in a relationship with another person. For a long time, it did for me. Now I try to do things for me, not for someone else. It makes me a stronger person to make decisions based on what I want and to really identify the reasons for myself.
When I am asked if I will ever get married and have a family, I always say that I am happy just being me. But at the same time, if someone came along who loved me for me, then maybe things would be different. But I have yet to meet that person, so I can't say. But for now, I am happy just being me.
One thing I am working on is being comfortable and happy with me as I am now. And part of me is being single and self-reliant. Sometimes I think that the people around have more of a problem with me being single than I do. Whenever I go home, I am always asked when I am going to get married and settled down. It's also one of the first questions I am asked when I meet new people. When I say that I am single, I am then told that it's okay and I'll find someone. What, like it's not okay? I don't have a problem with it, so why should anyone else?
I like just being me. When I was in a long-term relationship, I think I lost sight of who I saw. So much of my identity and who I was ended up being in another person. Looking back, I don't think this was a good thing. I think it contributes to my quest and desire for independence. At the same time, being with someone who wanted me gave me a sense of validity. I think that in life, everyone wants to be wanted and values and for many people this comes in a relationship with another person. For a long time, it did for me. Now I try to do things for me, not for someone else. It makes me a stronger person to make decisions based on what I want and to really identify the reasons for myself.
When I am asked if I will ever get married and have a family, I always say that I am happy just being me. But at the same time, if someone came along who loved me for me, then maybe things would be different. But I have yet to meet that person, so I can't say. But for now, I am happy just being me.
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