It's a Lipstick Jungle Out There!

The trip to Detroit was an experience, to say the least. I was hit on incessantly by men my father's age and older, both dealers and DCX colleagues. One of them tried to pick me up by telling me about his wife and kids, and what they don't know won't hurt them! Another used the "I'm in a band and here's my CD" line. All the dirty old men aside, it was a good trip. I had never been to Motown before, and I kinda liked it! I fell in love with the tiny suburb of Birmingham and have decided that I where I will live when I am CEO of the company! For me, the two best parts of the trip were-

1. Seeing the beautiful new Dodge Challenger

2. Having dinner with a friend I met in Israel

I do think I learned a lot on the trip, so I guess that's a plus, too! The corportate AmEx also got quite a bit of exercise, which was fun because it was like going on a free vacation almost.

And then in true Sara fashion, I get off the plane at LAX and am drunk within about ninty minutes. The weekend was filled with some of my favorite things- Lara, beer pong, Stasha, alcohol, shopping, yoga, and hours at the salon.

I did not get back to the Land of Boobs Jobs and Married Couples (aka Orange County) until late Sunday. It was not until Monday morning before hitting the gym that I realized I had an Extreme Blonde Moment- I left all my business clothes in Santa Monica and had a suitcase full of laundry! After I got to Stasha's I thought I was SO smart by hanging my suits in her closet so they wouldn't wrinkle...but I was not so smart in leaving them there. So in stretching the boundaries of business casual to the max, I managed to pull something together.

I get to the gym, workout, and then shower and change for work. Half-way through doing my hair, the dryer dies! I show up to work totally dishevled- hair half-curly, half-straight in an outfit that doesn't quite work. Then I find out that a bunch of VPs from Detroit are in town and we are supposed to dress all businessy for the week. I was not too pleased. I told the AAs if I didn't come back from lunch, they could find me at Nordstrom's curled up in the fetal position between the Jimmy Choos and Manolo Blahniks. I went out and I bought two very cute and expensive suits. I get to work today, only to discover the assholes aren't going to be in the office for the rest of the week!

Lingerie...and other notes from all over!

Lingerie
I have decided that the one down-side to being single is the fact that I have a very extensive lingerie collection and no one to show it off to! The occasional (or in my case all too often) one-night stand does not provide adequate opportunities to make the most out of my undergarment wardrobe...any takers?

Deeeeeeeeeeeeeetroit!
Monday I am going on my first business trip! Yippeeee! My boss is sending me to a conference in Detroit for the week. I am excited to get out of the office and see someplace new. The AAs are worrier about their girl. They said some of my colleagues and the dealers are "dirty old men." Apparently some real drinking will take place in the after-conference bar hoping. They are worried that some of the old men will try to take advantage of some fresh female blood. One of the older men that I work (who I am attending the conference with) told me that if he were ten years younger and in his wilder days (before he was married with kids), he would use this trip with me to his full advantage. Ewwww! This dude is nearly my dad's age! Although I have gotten so bored with the lack of male eye candy that I have resorted to flirting with men my dad's age...so gross, I know. I may be place in the same district as one of them if he does not accept the retirement package...double ewww!

Fake Boobs- This one's for you, Lara!
I have had more exposure to breast implants in the last month than I have in my whole life. I have come to the following conclusions under which circumstance to buy them are acceptable-
1. You are totally uneven and one side is WAY bigger than the other
2. You had breast cancer and want to still feel like a woman after a mastectomy
3. Your name is Lara and you want to be hotter than humanly possible...even though you already were before you got them and now it's just unfair to the rest of us to have to compete again that. (She is the blonde in the picture...oh wait, that doesn't help...she's holding the glass of wine.)

A-Rod
So, when the Yankees were in Toronto playing the Jays, my man A-Rod was spotted at the Brass Rail. This is the same strip club the boys took me to for my 19th birthday. Yeah, A-Rod and I like the strip club...I am not sure what this says about either one of us. But after seeing what those girls do, it looks really fucking hard! Even if the pole rotates! Emmers the Great and I have this wonderful plan of participating in an amateur night one day...we call it Plan B.

Me
I want to be happy with me how I am right now. I wish I didn't always want to lose ten pounds, or to be smarter or prettier or change this or that about me. I WISH I could want to be me and be happy with me exactly how I am now.