My Strange and Random Life

I have decided that I do not live a normal life. For those of you who know me, this is neither shocking nor surprising. Last weekend, I attended a Jello Wrestling Party. Yes, that's right. Jello Wrestling. And no, I did not partake in the aforementioned activities. Apparently, there are companies that specialize in providing the equipment necessary for these events, such as blow up pools and gelatin. At the party, I drank a lot of beer and ate a lot of Jello shots. I also a met a group of hot British boys. When I asked what they were doing in SoCal, one told me he worked at the LA Zoo...as a "Penguin Erector." At first, I thought he meant that he helped the little guys get hard when they were trying to procreate, and was a bit perplexed. Then, the guy said that when penguins fall over, you have 30 seconds to pick them up before they die. I thought this was a load of shit and burst into to laughter and continued to question the Brit about his alleged profession. Although he put together a good story, I came to the conclusion that it was just a feeble attempt at a conversation starter to pick up girls.

I have come to the conclusion that boys/men/the male half of the species anywhere near my age are not attracted to me for some reason. I get hit on...a lot. But not my men my age. They are closer to my father's age (or in some cases my grandfather's) or in high school. This week, I was told by some old car dealer that he enjoyed looking up my skirt! I was drooled over by co-workers around my dad's age, and asked out for a margarita when I was getting my Charger washed by some old dude! Then this weekend I decided to go to the beach. I hit up Laguna and Newport (hence the beautiful picture...looks more like le Cote d'Azur or Israel than SoCal). I was chatting with the uber hot, yet very young lifeguard before the boys sitting next to me decided to make their move. We got to talking and they wanted me to come to some keg party they were crashing that the seniors were throwing...seniors in high school!!! Why don't men between 25 and 40 like me? Yes, I know I am only 24, but I 'em old! But not geriatric style with canes.

In the past week, I have been in contact with a number of people I had lost touch with-
1. The kind, old man who ran the hotel I stayed at in Grenoble, France
2. A former crush who I now think is a Christian arrogant asshole and tried to hit me up for a job
3. A semi-current crush who I drunkenly confessed my love for at a graduation party and one of the few Jews at Pepperdine
4. The former best friend with whom I had a falling out with of sorts
Random and unexpected, indeed.