I am stressed...for a change. Sometimes I feel like I am not happy unless I feel stress and pressure in my life. I hate it, but I have be come so used to it that I can't function without it. It's like a drug- I need it to get anything done. It motivates me, it makes me get things done, but I hate it.
What am I stressed about? Everything.
1. My Parents
I love my parents more than anything. But they pressure me to come home all the time! Which is a good thing because it shows they love me and want to be around me. It makes me feel guilty. They have done so much for me and I never see them anymore. I feel like the least I can do to show my love and gratitude is visit them, but it is hard when they are in New York and I am in California. I do not get much time off work, so they come see me. I can't afford the ticket home, so they buy me one when I do have time to make the trip. I just want to make them proud and show them I love them.
2. My Job
I get treated like shit by the men I work with. I work twice as hard as my male counter parts for half of the credit. I work longer hours. I don't take a lunch, but the boys take a breakfast and a lunch. The men treat me like a dumb blonde while I am better educated. It makes me wonder if this is the right career path. Do I want to work for a company that only rewards WASPy men? But it pays the bills...
3. The Bills
And when I say bills, what I really mean are the massive amounts of student loans I have to pay. It makes me wonder, is it worth it? Is a BA from one of the world's top universities and an MBA from another one worth the money invested? They say education is also costly NOT to have, but at the same time ignorance is bliss. You might have a shitty, dead-end job without the degrees, but you would not know the joys of paying student loans until you die.
4. My Body
This is an on-going struggle and probably always will be. Ever since having eating disorders, my mom tells me in such a loving and caring way that only a mother can, that I am "fucked in the head." It's true. I have never been happy with my body. I spend hours at the gym running and doing sit-ups, but it is never enough. I watch everything I eat, but it is still too much. I make myself crazy! I should feel lucky that I can afford food, and I am healthy enough to go to the gym.
5. Life
Life in general is stressful.
So what do I do? How do I handle this?
1. Yoga.
Lots and lots of yoga. The more stressed I get, the more I practice. Needless to say, my practice is coming along very nicely these days! Although last night the instructor told me my legs are too long to really master the art of yoga. That sucked!
2. Shopping!
But only after the loan payments are made. For my birthday, I totally hit up my favorite BCBG store in Santa Monica. I LOVE the salesman there. He is so flamboyantly gay and nice and funny. I love him. Gay men are the perfect shopping companion- you get the male and female perspective in a brutally honest way all at once! I have bought a couple dresses from him in the past, so I knew he would help me find something good. He found my a hot navy pinstripe suit with ivory slingbacks. He said every woman needs a good pair of slingbacks, and this pair won't pinch! He said he owns the same pair in a size 11 and would never try to sell me something he couldn't personally endorse. I was not sure how to react to that one!
3. Nights out with the girlies!
The girls always know that a night of tequilla shots and dancing will cheer me up.
4. A good book.
I am a super nerd at heart. I love to read and nothing helps me temporarily escape my life than getting lost in a book.
What am I stressed about? Everything.
1. My Parents
I love my parents more than anything. But they pressure me to come home all the time! Which is a good thing because it shows they love me and want to be around me. It makes me feel guilty. They have done so much for me and I never see them anymore. I feel like the least I can do to show my love and gratitude is visit them, but it is hard when they are in New York and I am in California. I do not get much time off work, so they come see me. I can't afford the ticket home, so they buy me one when I do have time to make the trip. I just want to make them proud and show them I love them.
2. My Job
I get treated like shit by the men I work with. I work twice as hard as my male counter parts for half of the credit. I work longer hours. I don't take a lunch, but the boys take a breakfast and a lunch. The men treat me like a dumb blonde while I am better educated. It makes me wonder if this is the right career path. Do I want to work for a company that only rewards WASPy men? But it pays the bills...
3. The Bills
And when I say bills, what I really mean are the massive amounts of student loans I have to pay. It makes me wonder, is it worth it? Is a BA from one of the world's top universities and an MBA from another one worth the money invested? They say education is also costly NOT to have, but at the same time ignorance is bliss. You might have a shitty, dead-end job without the degrees, but you would not know the joys of paying student loans until you die.
4. My Body
This is an on-going struggle and probably always will be. Ever since having eating disorders, my mom tells me in such a loving and caring way that only a mother can, that I am "fucked in the head." It's true. I have never been happy with my body. I spend hours at the gym running and doing sit-ups, but it is never enough. I watch everything I eat, but it is still too much. I make myself crazy! I should feel lucky that I can afford food, and I am healthy enough to go to the gym.
5. Life
Life in general is stressful.
So what do I do? How do I handle this?
1. Yoga.
Lots and lots of yoga. The more stressed I get, the more I practice. Needless to say, my practice is coming along very nicely these days! Although last night the instructor told me my legs are too long to really master the art of yoga. That sucked!
2. Shopping!
But only after the loan payments are made. For my birthday, I totally hit up my favorite BCBG store in Santa Monica. I LOVE the salesman there. He is so flamboyantly gay and nice and funny. I love him. Gay men are the perfect shopping companion- you get the male and female perspective in a brutally honest way all at once! I have bought a couple dresses from him in the past, so I knew he would help me find something good. He found my a hot navy pinstripe suit with ivory slingbacks. He said every woman needs a good pair of slingbacks, and this pair won't pinch! He said he owns the same pair in a size 11 and would never try to sell me something he couldn't personally endorse. I was not sure how to react to that one!
3. Nights out with the girlies!
The girls always know that a night of tequilla shots and dancing will cheer me up.
4. A good book.
I am a super nerd at heart. I love to read and nothing helps me temporarily escape my life than getting lost in a book.
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