I have been in Portland for a week today. It has been an experience. I am unpacked, by my goddamn car is not here yet..grr. And I want to make a Target run. But that is not the point. Girlfriend over her does not fit in. I am a label whore. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I have received numerous comments from individuals stating that I do not look like I am from from around here.
I have also gotten carded anytime I have purchased, looked at, drank, etc anything to do with alcohol. For a vain and egomanical 25 year old, this is a big deal and a very good thing! (LA has ruined me...sigh.)
My mom came to visit me and help me settle in. We had a great time! All I can say is the Oregon boys seem to like me. I have gotten plastered on a few occasions with them. Afterwards, a few select and lucky people have received a drunken text/email/phone call from me, which I apologize for (although I am a bit more than tipsy at the moment due to these encounters). I should not be allowed unsupervised anywhere near electronic devices for communication (or straight boys...but that is another story...hence the nickname DH)if I have been drinking .
Anyway, so back to my mom. I was hit on an incredibly large number of times in her presence. The moment we walked out of my building after she arrive a car full of guys drove by and one yelled, "Hey baby! Looking good!" Like they have never seen a girl before. Oy vey! But my mom and I had a great time shopping, drinking, and shopping and drinking. And now am the proud owner of:
2 Theory Blazers from Saks- one black and one white
1 LAMB purse
1 LAMB wallet to match the purse
1 Matty M aubergine scoop neck
1 Rue 22 white trench coat
1 C&C California ocean blue V-neck
1Full bathroom set of pink accessories
1 set of Cuisine Art silverware
1 set of Cuisine Art white square dishes
And all it cost me was a few grand. But it's okay because I am making fucking bank with the new Big Girl Job.
I find it so empowering to be able to go and buy for myself with my own money everything I want. If I see it and I like it, I buy it! Go me! And I am doing my part to help the economy by using my economic stimulus money from the tax return to help boost the retail sector. I am a good American capitalist. John Locke would be proud!
So, my mom was totally my Wingman. Her last night in town we went to this cute little Spanish restaurant recommended by the girls at Nordy's. The waiter was semi-attractive and I told him how I just move here from OC and my mom was visiting from New York. Buddy was totally macking on me in front of the parental! I asked him to write the name of the wine I was drinking down and totally score the digital. (Does anyone remember the song that goes "Can I get your number, baby? Hit me with the seven digits!)
Mommy says to me, "Well, I am glad I wasn't a C-block for you." I look at her in disbelieve. She goes on to say, "You know what I mean, right? A cock-block." I tell her I know what she means, but am shocked she does. I said, "No, you are an excellent Wingman. Or in this case Wingwoman." This phrase she does not know and I must explain. She then proceeds to text my dad and to tell him she is my Wingman! Daddy texts back, "Happy hunting!" I wanted to die...I wanted to die even more after I realized hottie waiter overheard the whole thing! Lucky me. Like he will want me to call him after.
I had been advised of the high lesbian to straight girl ratio by the lovely Sharon. (Not that I have anything against people of alternative lifestyles. Some of my best friends play for the other team. Being a "Samantha" I categorize myself as a try-sexual (I will try anything once), I am an open person, but when it comes down to it I do LOOOOVE the boys!) I have had a number of close encounters of the lesbian kind. I have been approached a many instances in the week I have been here by a few women. But it is not the first time. When I lived in the "Gayborbood" in TO I was always being hit on by girls . Typically the Lipstick Lesbian is attracted to me, but in Portland they seem to express adoration for me. This is something new.
Well, seeing as it is Sunday already, I do start my new job tomorrow. I am the Post Sale Service Marketing Manager in the entire FUCKING world for the Office Group at Xerox. This is a big, huge job. Let's hope I do not mess it up. I did a lot of shopping this week and have lots of bills to pay.
I have also gotten carded anytime I have purchased, looked at, drank, etc anything to do with alcohol. For a vain and egomanical 25 year old, this is a big deal and a very good thing! (LA has ruined me...sigh.)
My mom came to visit me and help me settle in. We had a great time! All I can say is the Oregon boys seem to like me. I have gotten plastered on a few occasions with them. Afterwards, a few select and lucky people have received a drunken text/email/phone call from me, which I apologize for (although I am a bit more than tipsy at the moment due to these encounters). I should not be allowed unsupervised anywhere near electronic devices for communication (or straight boys...but that is another story...hence the nickname DH)if I have been drinking .
Anyway, so back to my mom. I was hit on an incredibly large number of times in her presence. The moment we walked out of my building after she arrive a car full of guys drove by and one yelled, "Hey baby! Looking good!" Like they have never seen a girl before. Oy vey! But my mom and I had a great time shopping, drinking, and shopping and drinking. And now am the proud owner of:
2 Theory Blazers from Saks- one black and one white
1 LAMB purse
1 LAMB wallet to match the purse
1 Matty M aubergine scoop neck
1 Rue 22 white trench coat
1 C&C California ocean blue V-neck
1Full bathroom set of pink accessories
1 set of Cuisine Art silverware
1 set of Cuisine Art white square dishes
And all it cost me was a few grand. But it's okay because I am making fucking bank with the new Big Girl Job.
I find it so empowering to be able to go and buy for myself with my own money everything I want. If I see it and I like it, I buy it! Go me! And I am doing my part to help the economy by using my economic stimulus money from the tax return to help boost the retail sector. I am a good American capitalist. John Locke would be proud!
So, my mom was totally my Wingman. Her last night in town we went to this cute little Spanish restaurant recommended by the girls at Nordy's. The waiter was semi-attractive and I told him how I just move here from OC and my mom was visiting from New York. Buddy was totally macking on me in front of the parental! I asked him to write the name of the wine I was drinking down and totally score the digital. (Does anyone remember the song that goes "Can I get your number, baby? Hit me with the seven digits!)
Mommy says to me, "Well, I am glad I wasn't a C-block for you." I look at her in disbelieve. She goes on to say, "You know what I mean, right? A cock-block." I tell her I know what she means, but am shocked she does. I said, "No, you are an excellent Wingman. Or in this case Wingwoman." This phrase she does not know and I must explain. She then proceeds to text my dad and to tell him she is my Wingman! Daddy texts back, "Happy hunting!" I wanted to die...I wanted to die even more after I realized hottie waiter overheard the whole thing! Lucky me. Like he will want me to call him after.
I had been advised of the high lesbian to straight girl ratio by the lovely Sharon. (Not that I have anything against people of alternative lifestyles. Some of my best friends play for the other team. Being a "Samantha" I categorize myself as a try-sexual (I will try anything once), I am an open person, but when it comes down to it I do LOOOOVE the boys!) I have had a number of close encounters of the lesbian kind. I have been approached a many instances in the week I have been here by a few women. But it is not the first time. When I lived in the "Gayborbood" in TO I was always being hit on by girls . Typically the Lipstick Lesbian is attracted to me, but in Portland they seem to express adoration for me. This is something new.
Well, seeing as it is Sunday already, I do start my new job tomorrow. I am the Post Sale Service Marketing Manager in the entire FUCKING world for the Office Group at Xerox. This is a big, huge job. Let's hope I do not mess it up. I did a lot of shopping this week and have lots of bills to pay.
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