I was recently sick. Nowhere near as bad as "The Flu That Almost Killed Me" (see blog entry from Sunday 11 November 2007 for detail), but pretty miserable none the less. I had to miss two days of work, which I was extremely upset about because I love my job and I love my boss and NEED to kick some fucking ass at marketing! But I could only get out of bed long enough to make it to the washroom. Although I slept for about 23 hours a day for five straight days (woken up by my mother's incessant phone calls to ensure I was alive. I contemplated not answering, but she told me if I did that she would either call the police to check on me or be on the next flight to Portland, so I left my phone on), when I was awake I had some time to think. I have spent most of my life thinking about what I don't like about myself and all the things I want to change. Now, I am not sure if it because I was delirious with a high fever or all drugged up, but for one of the first times in my life (other than when I was forced to by a therapist, psychiatrist, or some other -ist), I thought about the things I LIKE about myself! And because I went out for a drink after yoga with the one other non-granola girl in Portland I decided it would be a good idea to tell the world what I came up with!
1. I am a nerd!!!
There are not too my 25 year olds who have attended three of the top universities in the world (University of Toronto, Oxford University, and Pepperdine University...more to come!) and have been employed by two of the largest, most recognizable international companies (DaimlerChrylser and Xerox). That says something. I know a lot about a lot of different and weird things- multi-variable calculus, basic C++ and Java programming, international affairs, history, literature, etc. I know what acronyms like UN, NATO, EU, AU, OPEC, ADB, AEC, and G8 (which is my personal fav...don't even get me started!). I have a passion for East African politics, in particular when related to genocide. I can tell you everything about Rwanda. When in university, my fourth year I took all phD classes and for one wrote a dissertation on the American Response to the Genocide in Darfur, and what I thought it should be. I love to read. I have three large bookshelves filled with some of my favorites- Kurt Vonnegut, Philip Roth, Ayn Rand (my personal fav), and all sorts of text books.
2. I loooove cars!
Not too many girls know as much about cars as I do. Actually, not too many boys know as about cars as I do.
3. Style
I have a wicked sense of style (which is essential for any Bond Girl...I want to be a Bond Girl. But not the kind that dies and not a good one. I want to be evil! Mwuhahahaha!) Everyday, I construct my ensembles starting with the most important part- the shoes. I feel that the way a person dresses says so much about him or her. And I only want my clothes to say fabulous things about me!
4. I am close with my family.
Not many people can say this. I moved around a lot when I was growing up, so sometimes family was all you had.
5. I am Open-Minded
I don't judge, so my friends feel they can tell me anything and I will listen. I also feel that I can not say I like or dislike something until I have tried it, so I will try/do anything once. I love the feel of adventure! I also have no problem picking up and moving somewhere I have never been and do not know anyone. I have done this on more than one occasion and everything has worked out fine.
6. I Like Just Being Me
I do not feel like I need a boyfriend, or need to get married and have kids to bring meaning to my life. I like just being me. I can support myself (thanks to the Big Girl Job) and do not need to rely on anyone else for anything! I really love that feeling of strength and independence.
7. I am opinionated
Most people might say this is a bad thing. But I feel like in order to know yourself, you need to know what you like (and what you don't) and where you stand on issues.
8. I am starting to be comfortable with me
There are a lot of things I like and don't like about myself, but I am learning to accept them. I am becoming more and more comfortable with who I am as a person, even if others aren't.
I think that is it for now, kids. A lot of my thoughts were yoga-inspired (I just came from practice, via the bar, and may have been guzzling the yoga kool-aid...or I am drunk), but there they are! I think it is important to reflect on the positive because all too often we focus on the negative...wow, I am cheesy.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Top Five
Sometimes I wish I were a gay man. The other day I was thinking about all the hot gay famous men in this world. This could be because- 1) Portland has a high gay population and there are tons of good-looking men not interested in what I (or any other woman) have to offer, or 2) I have been watching waaaaaaay too much "Queer As Folk" these days (I was missing Toronto and bought the first two seasons of QAF. The show was filmed in the "Gayborhood" of T.O., where I lived for a while. It made me feel better to see some familiar sites!).
Here is my list of the top five HOTTEST gay men I wish I could fuck-
5. George Michael
Yes, I know he is ancient. But I saw some footage of his LA concert and damn, he still looks good! I am not normally attracted to singers, actors, models, etc (I got for the athlete...but there are not too many good-looking gay athletes), but George makes the cut. My dad has a very eclectic CD collection, so I grew up listening to Wham, believe it or not! Even as a little girl I thought George Michael was hot, even if he shorts were a little too tight and short.
4. Marc Jacobs
I am extremely attracted to ambition and success, especially at an early age. Just a few short years after graduating from Parsons, Marc had achieved success under his own label. In 1987 Jacobs was the youngest designer to have ever been awarded the fashion industry's highest tribute, the Council of Fashion Designers of America Perry Ellis Award for New Fashion Talent. In addition to his own Marc Jacobs label, he is the Creative Director for fashion house Louis Vuitton. Not only has he been able to grow the business for LVMH, he has expended his own label. At 45, Marc has done a lot! Oh, and his long-term domestic partner was a former prostitute! Gotta love controversy!! Oh, AND he's Jewish!
3. James Dean and Marlon Brando
There have long been rumors that these two actors were bisexual...so two reportly bisexual actors add up to number 3 on my list. Ahhhh, James Dean. I think part of the reason I love James Dean is due to his great accomplishments in such a short lifetime. And his passion for cars and racing. I am such a gear-head, so I find it appealing when guys share my love of automotive. And to die in such a spectacular car accident only adds to the allure. Two of my all-time favorite movies are the Godfather (I&II, which are basically one long story when watched back-to-back...Drop the gun, take the canolis) and Apocalypse Now (I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like victory!). Although these movies were not in Brando's super sexy phase during the 1950s, they capture his raw talent.
2. Brian Kinney
Brian Kinney is Gale Harold's in "Queer As Folk," but Gale is straight in real life, so I have to go with Brian. QAF is like "Sex & the City" with gay men and a lesbian couple, and Brian is the Samantha equivalent. He has sex (and lots of it with lots of different men) for the sheer pleasure of having sex. Brian doesn't make excuses and looks out for his number one priority- himself (although he would never admit, he is always there for his friends). He is also has a hugely successful advertising career...brains are hot!
1. Tom Ford
I can barely say the name Tom Ford without getting all hot and bothered. Yes, he is another fashion designer out of Parsons who has achieved great things at an early age. He single-handedly turned around the Gucci and YSL labels before creating his own Tom Ford label. (The Tom Ford brand is especially successful when one considers it is MENSWEAR only! Aside from a recent expansion to include womens' eye and fragrances, his brand is one of the few focusing solely on a mens' line. Tres formidable!!) His creative abilities and business acumen resulted in a 90% sales increase in 1996. Not bad! Tom is also one of the most decorated designers of today in terms of awards and accolades. But his smokin' good looks and ambition is only part of why I like him...he is fucking cocky as hell! Now this man is absolutely full of himself. I loooove confidence in men and Tom Ford is the epitome of self-assuredness. When Rachel McAdams refused to strip down with Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightly for the 2006 Vanity Fair cover he was shooting, Tom stepped in. Similarly, he has no problem using himself in ad campaigns for his brands. I want Tom Ford.
This blog entry has made me realize I need to STOP watching QAF and get out more. Good thing I have plans tonight! ;)
Here is my list of the top five HOTTEST gay men I wish I could fuck-
5. George Michael
Yes, I know he is ancient. But I saw some footage of his LA concert and damn, he still looks good! I am not normally attracted to singers, actors, models, etc (I got for the athlete...but there are not too many good-looking gay athletes), but George makes the cut. My dad has a very eclectic CD collection, so I grew up listening to Wham, believe it or not! Even as a little girl I thought George Michael was hot, even if he shorts were a little too tight and short.
4. Marc Jacobs
I am extremely attracted to ambition and success, especially at an early age. Just a few short years after graduating from Parsons, Marc had achieved success under his own label. In 1987 Jacobs was the youngest designer to have ever been awarded the fashion industry's highest tribute, the Council of Fashion Designers of America Perry Ellis Award for New Fashion Talent. In addition to his own Marc Jacobs label, he is the Creative Director for fashion house Louis Vuitton. Not only has he been able to grow the business for LVMH, he has expended his own label. At 45, Marc has done a lot! Oh, and his long-term domestic partner was a former prostitute! Gotta love controversy!! Oh, AND he's Jewish!
3. James Dean and Marlon Brando
There have long been rumors that these two actors were bisexual...so two reportly bisexual actors add up to number 3 on my list. Ahhhh, James Dean. I think part of the reason I love James Dean is due to his great accomplishments in such a short lifetime. And his passion for cars and racing. I am such a gear-head, so I find it appealing when guys share my love of automotive. And to die in such a spectacular car accident only adds to the allure. Two of my all-time favorite movies are the Godfather (I&II, which are basically one long story when watched back-to-back...Drop the gun, take the canolis) and Apocalypse Now (I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like victory!). Although these movies were not in Brando's super sexy phase during the 1950s, they capture his raw talent.
2. Brian Kinney
Brian Kinney is Gale Harold's in "Queer As Folk," but Gale is straight in real life, so I have to go with Brian. QAF is like "Sex & the City" with gay men and a lesbian couple, and Brian is the Samantha equivalent. He has sex (and lots of it with lots of different men) for the sheer pleasure of having sex. Brian doesn't make excuses and looks out for his number one priority- himself (although he would never admit, he is always there for his friends). He is also has a hugely successful advertising career...brains are hot!
1. Tom Ford
I can barely say the name Tom Ford without getting all hot and bothered. Yes, he is another fashion designer out of Parsons who has achieved great things at an early age. He single-handedly turned around the Gucci and YSL labels before creating his own Tom Ford label. (The Tom Ford brand is especially successful when one considers it is MENSWEAR only! Aside from a recent expansion to include womens' eye and fragrances, his brand is one of the few focusing solely on a mens' line. Tres formidable!!) His creative abilities and business acumen resulted in a 90% sales increase in 1996. Not bad! Tom is also one of the most decorated designers of today in terms of awards and accolades. But his smokin' good looks and ambition is only part of why I like him...he is fucking cocky as hell! Now this man is absolutely full of himself. I loooove confidence in men and Tom Ford is the epitome of self-assuredness. When Rachel McAdams refused to strip down with Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightly for the 2006 Vanity Fair cover he was shooting, Tom stepped in. Similarly, he has no problem using himself in ad campaigns for his brands. I want Tom Ford.
This blog entry has made me realize I need to STOP watching QAF and get out more. Good thing I have plans tonight! ;)
It's Called Chutzpah, Bitches
In the three weeks I have been in Portland, there have been a number of occasions when I have reverted to my former bitchy, East Coast alter-ego. But I don't look at it as me being mean or bitchy...I call it having the chutzpah to say what most people only think.
1. The Ram Incident
I wrote about this in my previous blog. I told some asshole in a Prius that I judge men on the size of their engine and his wasn't saying anything good about him.
2. Dependable Auto Shippers
The name of the company that shipped my Civic up is Dependable Auto Shipper. Dependable my ass! They were over a week late getting my car to me, and the bastards scratched and dented it up. I think the company should reevaluate the relevance of its name. Anyway, when some fucker from the company called me up to say they would be delivering my car the next day, I let him have it. I told him he had been come when it was convenient for me because to this point I was very disappointed by my experience. Buddy told me it wasn't his problem that DAS was slow and damaged my car! I said, "As an employee of DAS, it is your fucking problem, asshole! I am a customer and as a result I help your goddamn salary. Now, you are going to come and bring me my car tomorrow when I tell you to." And then he hung up on me. I called back (woohoo for caller ID) and asked to speak with his supervisor. I told her the story and said her underling better get my car to me at my convenience, or she'll wish he had. The next day the underling delivered my car and apologized.
3. The Rat
The next anecdote was one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen in my life. The People's Republic of Portland has a great public transit system (called TriMet) of trains, street cars, and buses. And they have a fareless area downtown, so I get to use it for free. So, I am on my way to yoga reading a "How to Ride the TriMet" brochure on a train. I look up and this girl has a fucking RAT perched on her should like a parrot or something! Ew ew ew ew! I wanted to vomit...it was so gross. And then the vermin started crawling all over her...ew ew ew ew!!!! I hate rats. I could not imagine having one as a pet, let alone allowing the filthy thing to touch me. I go back to reading the brochure, and there is a section on pets. Hmmm...how timely. It reads, and I quote, "Keep all animals in a pet carrier(except service animals)." Interesting. So I walk over to the girl and say, "Excuse me, but is that I seeing-eye rat? Are you visually impaired?" The hippie looks at me like I am insane and says no. I hand her the brochure and told her, "Put that goddamn fucking animal in a cage before I get you kicked off the train." Her jaw hit the floor and I continued on my way to yoga.
4. Yoga
I practice yoga. I prefer a more athletic style of power yoga. I like to get my ass kicked! If I don't sweat then I feel like I didn't work hard enough. I have been trying out different studios in hope of finding one that fits my needs. One of the classes I went to claimed to "an intense athletic practice for more seasoned yogis that is intended for those who are physically fit." I figured this would be a good class for me. I get there and it turns out to be an hour and a half of STRETCHING. I was pissed. So, I am standing there in natarajasanavinyasa (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/936) feeling extremely frustrated. I must have been had some sort of look on my face because the instructor came over and asked if everything was okay. I said, "No everything is not okay. I just paid $20 for an hour and a half of stretching when I thought I was going to be taking an advance class. I would have burned more calories shopping. I would like my money and the hour and a half I wasted back." Yoga hippie did not like this and suggested if I thought I could do better, I could teach the class myself. I said, "Okay, move over and I will." This did not go over too big either, and I was asked to vacate the premises. Opps, guess I won't be going back there!
I would like to add the disclaimer that I do not normally behave like this and it is just an extension of my frustration with Portland. But, on a positive note, I am FINALLY starting to meet some people of the non-granola variety. I expect this to contribute to an improve attitude towards the city and a less chutzpah-like disposition.
1. The Ram Incident
I wrote about this in my previous blog. I told some asshole in a Prius that I judge men on the size of their engine and his wasn't saying anything good about him.
2. Dependable Auto Shippers
The name of the company that shipped my Civic up is Dependable Auto Shipper. Dependable my ass! They were over a week late getting my car to me, and the bastards scratched and dented it up. I think the company should reevaluate the relevance of its name. Anyway, when some fucker from the company called me up to say they would be delivering my car the next day, I let him have it. I told him he had been come when it was convenient for me because to this point I was very disappointed by my experience. Buddy told me it wasn't his problem that DAS was slow and damaged my car! I said, "As an employee of DAS, it is your fucking problem, asshole! I am a customer and as a result I help your goddamn salary. Now, you are going to come and bring me my car tomorrow when I tell you to." And then he hung up on me. I called back (woohoo for caller ID) and asked to speak with his supervisor. I told her the story and said her underling better get my car to me at my convenience, or she'll wish he had. The next day the underling delivered my car and apologized.
3. The Rat
The next anecdote was one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen in my life. The People's Republic of Portland has a great public transit system (called TriMet) of trains, street cars, and buses. And they have a fareless area downtown, so I get to use it for free. So, I am on my way to yoga reading a "How to Ride the TriMet" brochure on a train. I look up and this girl has a fucking RAT perched on her should like a parrot or something! Ew ew ew ew! I wanted to vomit...it was so gross. And then the vermin started crawling all over her...ew ew ew ew!!!! I hate rats. I could not imagine having one as a pet, let alone allowing the filthy thing to touch me. I go back to reading the brochure, and there is a section on pets. Hmmm...how timely. It reads, and I quote, "Keep all animals in a pet carrier(except service animals)." Interesting. So I walk over to the girl and say, "Excuse me, but is that I seeing-eye rat? Are you visually impaired?" The hippie looks at me like I am insane and says no. I hand her the brochure and told her, "Put that goddamn fucking animal in a cage before I get you kicked off the train." Her jaw hit the floor and I continued on my way to yoga.
4. Yoga
I practice yoga. I prefer a more athletic style of power yoga. I like to get my ass kicked! If I don't sweat then I feel like I didn't work hard enough. I have been trying out different studios in hope of finding one that fits my needs. One of the classes I went to claimed to "an intense athletic practice for more seasoned yogis that is intended for those who are physically fit." I figured this would be a good class for me. I get there and it turns out to be an hour and a half of STRETCHING. I was pissed. So, I am standing there in natarajasanavinyasa (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/936) feeling extremely frustrated. I must have been had some sort of look on my face because the instructor came over and asked if everything was okay. I said, "No everything is not okay. I just paid $20 for an hour and a half of stretching when I thought I was going to be taking an advance class. I would have burned more calories shopping. I would like my money and the hour and a half I wasted back." Yoga hippie did not like this and suggested if I thought I could do better, I could teach the class myself. I said, "Okay, move over and I will." This did not go over too big either, and I was asked to vacate the premises. Opps, guess I won't be going back there!
I would like to add the disclaimer that I do not normally behave like this and it is just an extension of my frustration with Portland. But, on a positive note, I am FINALLY starting to meet some people of the non-granola variety. I expect this to contribute to an improve attitude towards the city and a less chutzpah-like disposition.
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