As some of you know, I had to come home to Raaaaachester for a few weeks due to a family emergency. (And thank all of you who have given me support and love during this extremely difficult time. And it is great to be home, but it is not for the right reasons.) And basically I have learned my whole fucking family thinks I am nuts.
When I was packing, I consulted my youngest sister for fashion advice. And she does not understand why I feel the need to spend so much money on clothes, shoes, and purses. My philosophy is dress for the job you want and not the one you have, as I have mentioned before. (And I want to be the fucking CEO of Xerox, so it is imperative that I look fabulous at any given moment.) So if sometimes this means I have to spend more than the average American's mortgage payment on one pair of shoes, then so be it! I explain this to my sister and she proceeds to lecture me on how I need to be shopping at H&M or Forever 21. Ummmm, hello! Earth to Anna, come in Anna, are you there? When did you last hear of a CEO who picked her way through the bargain bin at Target?!?! I don't think so.
So I have been super stressed with everything that has been going on. And I express that by not eating and exercising all the time...it is my coping mechanism. As a result, I have lost ten pounds since my birthday. Woohoo!! Go me! But I get of the plane from the People's Republic of Portland, and my parents think I have totally gone ana-mia again on their asses. I get a lecture on how I am fucked in the head, according to my mom, and have a warped perception of self. Fun.
My other sister has a new boyfriend. Gone is the granola loving forever flame. I am beginning to think she is a complete serial monogamist. She is living at home, but spends almost every night at the new man's. The only time she comes to my parents' place is when she needs food or to do laundry. (Seriously, what a sweet deal is that?!?! Living rent free and not having to pay for damn thing.) When I learn she is stopping by with the new man for clothes and food, I get all excited to meet him! I ask her how much she has told him about me and this is what she said- I have a great job and car. I workout too much. And I am super smart, but slightly crazy!!! Who talks shit like that about their sister to someone she has never met?!?! SLIGHTLY CRAZY. (And guy is ten years older, divorced, two older kids. And I kept an open mind!) Then when she gets home with him, all Laura can do is rip on me! Yeah, that was a good time.
After she left, I watched "An Affair to Remember" with my parents. I like it up until the point where Nicki discovered the reason Terry couldn't meet him at the Empire State Building is because she was hit by a car and is now paralyzed...and they lived happily everafter. I HATE happy endings. In real life, there are no happy endings, at least not for me. And I don't want to watch a movie that promotes this unrealistic expectation that everything will be okay and we will all have happy endings, even under the worst of circumstances. When I told my parents how I thought, they told me I was insane.
But, life isn't about expecting the happy ending. You have to make the best of what you have- good or bad. And I don't want to live my life waiting for the happy ending to come. If you have low expectations, then you will never be disappointed. So, what if I don't like happy endings?
