Close Encouters of a Jappy Kind

As many of those close to know, I consider myself a Cashew- half Catholic, half Jewish. But for a number of reasons I identify with the Jewish side. (Still saying I am only Jewish would be like denying half of my heritage and one of my parents. So I am both!) I wear a Star of David around my neck, and yes it is PINK!!!! (I got it in Jerusalem when I was in Israel on a Birthright trip. My best friend in the whole wide world, Nati, and I snuck off to explore the city on our own...but that's a whole other story!) I get a number of comments on my most sentimental piece of jewelry, some of it much more entertaining than others.



Here are some of the more interesting encounters I have had with Portland's Finest and the subject of the Jewish faith-



1. At Nordstrom the salesgirl at the sunglass counter noticed my necklace. She proceeded to tell me how much she loved Jewish people. When she was little she used to wish she was one of us and would wear a Star of David because she thought it was pretty. The young Gentile then asked if I was "really Jewish or wore the necklace for fun" like she used to do. I said I wore it because I was actually a tribe member. I was then told I was the first Jewish person she had met in her entire life. She then asked if she could take a picture with me to commemorate the occasion. (Seriously. You work at the only place in Portland that sells designer sunglasses, cupcake! This is practically the JAP Mecca and I am the first one you've met???)



2. When in line at Whole Foods buying my $14 organic eggplant the stupid woman behind noticed my necklace and then asked if the star around my neck meant I worship Satan. I said no, it means I am Jewish. She then said "same difference,"



3. One fine young man confused the necklace with the "A" with a circle around and was convinced I was an anarchist.

4. In the Starbucks parking lot in Wilsonville near my office I ran into a born-again Christian. The moment I saw this man the words to Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" started playing in my head..."Jesus freaks, out in the streets. Handing tickets out for God." He went up to every person entering Starbucks asking him or her if her or she had found Jesus. The Jesus Freak looked at me, looked at the necklace and said, "I know not to ask you. Even though you're going to Hell, Jesus still loves you." I told him Jesus was probably not too pleased with that remark!

5. I was walking home from the gym the other day and a man was asking people for money. He asked me then saw my necklace. He then said. "Oh you're Jewish. I won't even bother asking you because your people are cheap and run the international financial system. It's because of you I'm broke and on the streets." I then told him it was because he has no job and is a loser that he is broke and on the streets, and if he wants money to get a job like the rest of us.



Ohhhh Portland.